Monday, 10 November 2008

Preach on a Monday

it's amazing how a mind works. i was watching a movie - sweet november - since it is november and i heart keanu reeves and charlize theron combo so much. so it was just a romantic... sweet... kinda boring harmless movie... and turned out, i was slowly having an epiphany.

what caused this?


really... i've always known and worried what globalization could do to our culture and values. globalization spreads knowledge and provides exposure but yet, it could also destroy a knowledge and people are easily influenced when they are weak.

it is the modern era.

the needs of people also evolve. culture evolves. i don't deny it. but it must not be destroyed. The eastern culture has absorbed western culture so much that i don't need a whole continent as a case study. just studying people around me is enough to convince how much our culture is deteriorating. and so does the values that our religion has taught us.

yes, you see people dress like westerners everyday, u can hardly tell them apart now with people dying their hair blonds and contact lenses turning our eyes colourful. we are more fluent using their language than our own. but that shouldn't alter who we are inside.

we are malays. by definition, a malay has to be a muslim. but u see Malays everywhere but practicing Muslims very rare. aside from the issue of globalization, the global warming is perhaps a factor that Muslims are wearing lesser cloth. let me repeat - the needs of people change - and touching the opposite sex when they are not your brother or sister is highly normal now, how would our next generation behave then?

is this the kind of values we want to teach our children? do we want to create a generation who never speaks of their mother tongue or practice what is required by Islam?

what is you answer?

life is short. the afterlife is everlasting... and it awaits us.

you decide.


Sunday, 9 November 2008

Do it for Yourself

there's a huge boundary between being good at something and loving doing it.

when you find yourself being good at something and not loving it - it feels like everything is forced, even though u keep being good at it. it feels like a job... an obligation but not fulfilling.

a few years back, i saw the sitcom - Two guys, a girl and a pizza place - this guy is a good architect but he hates doing it... he loves to be a commentator but lousy at it.
so i thought, not that i'm good at psychoanalyzing wutsoever but i thought he can still do the job he hates forever... but never make the thing that you love to do as your job even though you're not lousy at it.
because loving what you do is about doing it for yourself and when it is a job, you would be doing it for someone else or for some other thing that isn't permanent. and it forces you to fulfill other people's expectations and not yours.

no matter how sucky you are at what you do or how good you are at something u felt sucky doing, do it for yourself... it would turn out to be rather fulfilling than you can imagine.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Take a Chance

i know exactly which people are going to make fun of me after they read this blog. but it's about time i stop feeling bothered by what other people think of me and take a chance...

i should be paying attention to my dissertation or thesis but this frustration is so overwhelming that i need to get it out of my system or else i can't function well.
maybe it's the shouting more than singing in the redbox... maybe it's the coffee we had after that... maybe it's the air... maybe it's someone i met today...

after redbox... i knew i would be drawing attention. i'm not saying as if i'm flattering myself but i was carrying a bottle of sparking grape juice, which very much looked like a bottle of champagne. and for someone like me to be carrying something like that around, it was a pretty odd combination and very provocative sight.

even one indian aunty from McDonald's was very skeptical with the sight of me carrying the champagne look-alike. she kept eyeing me and immediately, to my defense, i said, "This is sparkling juice... not alcohol..."
somehow the indian aunty just couldn't get it into her head. she kept asking me if it was appropriate for someone like me to be drinking... won't i get drunk?? i was done convincing... i ignored her.

we sat outside McD, alfresco style. Just so happen a group of three guys next to us was skeptical as well. one of them asked and i responded to my defense. apparently, one of us (other than myself) thought he was nice to look at. i wouldn't want to go into the details as i'd like the memory all to myself ;) all began with that bottle of champagne look-alike.

it was so unfortunate that i have SHY as my initials. it somehow defines me as well. he asked for my name and number. it was so unfortunate that i care so much about integrity, my friends' feelings and their perceptions towards me... i actually ignored. so all the way back home, i kept thinking what should have happened if i, for once, ignore my fear and took a chance...

maybe not to the extend of handing out my number. i guess he has to work a little harder than that :)

Saturday, 25 October 2008

ECO film fest!

Eco film fest will be held at the Akademi Seni Kebangsaan on the 1st NOV and 2nd NOV 2008. And UM will be participating. There'll be an exhibition and my project, which won the MNS-Optima EcoCenter design competition are to be exhibited.

apart from that, there are films that'll show such as Who Killed the Electric car?, Kilowatt Ours, A Crude Awakening... and other films that perhaps might give us a slap in the face about our ignorance towards the environment. Ignorance is no defense!

there are also performance by Kokokaina, One Buck short and the fest will be covered by XFresh and So this fest is not to be missed!

for more info, log on to

Friday, 24 October 2008

The Eve of Post-presentation day

barely had a single good night sleep since last week. whenever i find a time to take a nap, it would usually take half an hour to get me drifted off... and half an hour is precious and a luxury.

still procrastinating at the 11th hour... and the result of the presentation was not as i suspected. i suspected a failing grade actually given the bad critic i received throughout the whole 30mins of presentation. the only good critic i got was good verbal presentation... others? zilch... the critics say i lack passion and joy in doing my work. not to say i was deeply hurt. they barely know me... how i work... in what way i show or express my passion and joy... and also at what scale is my passion and joy... perhaps my maximum level of passion and joy in work is others' at minimum. and comparing is another aspect since i may be not as smart as the next guy and perhaps i take a little more time synthesizing and analyzing my research. there was no use in telling them as defense because they were pretty judgmental on it. and i have high respects for the elders. however, their comments really do motivate me.

on the eve of the post-presentation day, i should be able to sleep better now. but i'm wide awake. i just came back from watching a theater performance and a late night dinner with friends. we were all saying how tired we are... how we're going to be sleeping and missing prayers... but yet, when i arrive, i can't seem to fall asleep.

have i turned insomniac???

Monday, 6 October 2008

Happy Eid Mubarak Everyone!

Selamat hari raya eid-ul-fitr to everyone...

unfortunately the festive month is to be cut short as we 5th yr architecture students have submission within 2 weeks time. do wish us luck!

and there won't be any new posts till then...

well... till then... good morning, good evening and good night!

Monday, 22 September 2008

NEW Layout... for Sept 2008 - to date

idea came from a sudden conscious of the environment. or perhaps a feeling of remorse for the environment.

the devastating storm in Klang and Kedah that led families celebrating Ramadhan roofless was a sign. a warning. the unpredictable drastic change of weather is only one of the earlier signs. it could get worse... only God knows what the future will be for our children.

i'm one of the people who slowly degrading the environment. trust me, if a hybrid car is available widely in Malaysia, i would be one of the first in line to purchase.

but we can start with the little things like recycling, which my mom and i are actively doing. it also put some extra $$$ in our pockets :) perhaps it'll help us to buy a hybrid one day :))))

so i present you the concept of the new layout >>>-----> let's save the environment!

God is with Us

At the rate i'm going with my design thesis, my blood pressure level should be up to the ceiling now. and i also could predict the end results, which is not a pretty vision. and i would have burst into tears by now.

but i've been through that phase (the slow designer phase) and i refuse to go through the tension and intense pressure situation. when you have that mind set, no matter how deeply in trouble you are, you'll feel calm and collected. although you know the future is not going to be bright a few days ahead but believe that you can do it... believe that you can rise up to the challenge. and fulfill everyone's expectations.

and even if you can't manage to do so... always believe that God is with you.

whatever happens is all in God's hands... what is important is we try our best.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008


Kalau dah ada filem sembilu... aku nak buat filem bertajuk selumbar plak...

begini plotnya...

Shazuin is still doing her fugly, friggin' conceptual model. She has been stabbing herself with tiny splinters, damaging her nails with super glue and straining her fingers since friday evening. So as she was 60% through her model, she thought she found an easier alternative (the so-called splinter-risk free option) to make the model out of the ridiculous satay sticks... well, she was wrong. it's so happen that the structure just won't work with the splinter-risk free way unless she uses some sort of a knot system that ties the beams and columns together instead of using glue. well tying is another issue... and a hassle. since the beams and columns are made out of satay sticks. so back to plan A.

Now the model is 95% done. When the splinters are starting make her face itch and her fingers ache, she decides to stop and write this stupid blog called "Selumbar".

Nantikan di panggung wayang berdekatan anda!

and i think it's time for a new layout! i'm going green this time. green is the new pink... that's what they all say. i thought green should always have been the new pink :/

Monday, 15 September 2008

Picture Perfect

Last night i get to catch a movie i've been wanting to watch since i was 13...

now eleven years later, i get to watch it. although i hate to miss the few earlier and VERY important parts, i kept on watching in hope i can catch the earlier bits when it shows again.

i thought jay mohr was cute (when he was younger WAY back then) only at certain angles... haha. and i love the fight scene. the so-called big break-up between nick and kate.

i'm doing a structural model on Bus stand klang using satay sticks and i have tiny splinters everywhere! in my fingers, my toes and i can even feel some in my face!!! i was 60% through the model-making when i realized there was a more easier... faster... less-splinter risk way...

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

It's All Wrong But It's All Right

Hello are you free tonight I like your looks I love your smile
Could I use you for a while it's all wrong but it's all right
The amber sunset glow has died my needs're very much alive
Is it okay if I stop by it's all wrong but it's all right
It's all wrong but it's all right just close your eyes and hold me tight
Tell me sexy lovin' lines it's all wrong but it's all right

It may be wrong if we make love but I just need someone so much
And who knows it might last for life it's all wrong but it's all right
It's all wrong but it's all right...
It's all wrong but it's all right just close your eyes and fantasize
Tell me sexy lovin' lines it's all wrong but it's all right
It's all wrong but it's all right...

Originally sung by Dolly Parton. I was never a fan but when Michael Johns of the AI7 sang it, i kinda fell in love with the song... and Michael's voice... sighhh* but i prefer the studio recording version.


the reason of this post is that i'm doing me thesis. i felt like i'm doing all wrong... so... it's all wrong but it's all right...

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Happy Birthday, Ila and Ayah!

my sis turns 17 today and my dad turned 57 on august 22nd but both are not here as they are away for Umrah.

May they are blessed with long life and prosperity :)

i miss them... missing the noise we all make in the house. I can never get used to the quietness in my house in this past week.

Somehow i find the nuisance quite comforting :) (applies to the Yaacob's kins only ok?)

Friday, 22 August 2008

How can rock be so comforting?

my parents, my aunt and younger sis, whom i talk to about everything are away for Umrah. i'm missing them terribly. just the presence of them would comfort me right now. soon my older sis and her family will be returning to their home and i'll be left to turn to perhaps, my older bro and younger sis who probably have problems of their own... my younger brother, whom sometimes doesn't have a clue about anything... perhaps, i'll just turn to my maid... ha ha...

i'm on the verge of somewhere, where i have no clue what to do... where i have my regrets but still, i refuse to fall... perhaps that is my regret... i don't knowwww!

i'm stuck here and i need my source of comfort...

my family is my source of comfort... my rock...

but how can rock be so comforting?

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Sexy and the Cit

the reason of the title is that i don't want my 6-year old nephew and 3-year old niece to be hearing the word 'sex' so i converted it to Sexy and the Cit. and it got stuck ever since.

anyway, it's not that i'm not a fan of 'Sexy and the Cit'. i was probably to immature to pick it up when it first showed. and even when i finally reach adolescence, my interests with the show did not grow with me. i'm the type 'once you miss an episode or when there's hassle to pick it up... forget it'.

so i watched the SATC movie on DVD because i don't like censored movies and knowing Malaysia... i think the movie would have been cut down 30mins than its original run time. 30 mins is like 30 days/episodes in a movie... and i don't like missing episodes. i'm not saying this like as if i'm indulging myself in those explicit sex scenes ok??! i'm a person who counts every detail.

i thought the movie was great. i thought it might have boring parts... but hell, i was wrong. i'm 20 something something and the idea of being 40 and beyond scares me... but after i saw this movie, i'm actually not afraid of getting old. well, maybe because i imagine myself growing old with the LVs, the Pradas, the Guccis, the bling bling... ha ha... or maybe i imagine myself growing old with 3 other great friends, whom regardless married or lived across the country, are there for you no matter what =)
i'm on a week holiday and i dread doing my homework, which piles up everyday i decide 'oh well, i can always do it tomorrow'

the thing is... i work faster last minute... and i value my rest. very much.

my source of comfort is MIA for two weeks! how am i to survive next week???!

Friday, 15 August 2008

could not ask for more

some people may need a million dollars to be happy

some may just need to see other people suffer so they can be happy

but me... i just need my family. period.

i have an older sister, who's although married with two kids and you can still go crazy with her. my older brother, who's most of the time ignorant and irresponsible, but when he's around... the world just got funnier i guess. i have two younger sisters... one that i can steal clothes anytime and vice versa and one that i can talk to about anything! i have a younger brother, who's lazy and stubborn, but he is very protective of his family.

your first impression of my father would probably be scary, strict ... but he is exactly everything i'd go looking for a future husband. i'd be stressed out with my work and i would find a text msg reading - all the best, you can do it. i know you can - my dad says...

my mother's warm presence is all you need when you're stressed out about anything. i can talk anything to her without her judging me.

i can't say i have the two best parents in the world because i can't compare. and i can't compare because i have no other parents parenting me.

but all i can say is i'm very grateful to have them as my parents. and i could not ask for more than what they've given me.

btw, i skipped dinner twice in a row because one, i was too stressed out to be eating... second, i missed dinner because i slept at 630pm and woke up at 930am. i thought i slept for just a few hours since before i got to sleep there was still daylight and i woke up... and there was daylight! a record eh??

okay, now i'm really hungry! later, people!

Saturday, 9 August 2008

can't figure out a title for this!

I just came back from a 2-day 'camping' adventure from serendah. i placed the inverted commas because well... would u call it camping if u sleep in a rm400/night chalet with a bed (not bunk ok... a bed!) made out of glass, a functional WC and hot shower, a complete kitchen utensils including the stove and a microwave?

The place called Sekeping Serendah is gorgeous retreat. It is smacked in the middle of a forest, located near a waterfall with such disappointing development. I went once to the waterfall during a picnic but never knew the retreat was there. I'm glad i got a chance to stay there... even for a night. even i had to share my queen-sized bed with two other people.

i got stung by a 'ulat bulu' that thursday. i don't know what's it called in english. is it poisonous caterpillar?? or furry caterpillar? haha... anyway, i thought when u get stung by those stuff, you're suppose to feel itchy. but not this one... this one was painful! like a bee sting painful. so i thought i had an allergic reaction to it or something. i was actually panicking but managed to contain myself. the pain lasted 3 hours. i hated the pain but once it was gone... i kinda missed it. haha... well, it was my first experience getting sting by a 'ulat bulu'!

So we left about 12pm on Friday. my class rep was supposed to hitch a ride with someone but they took off, forgetting him behind because when we arrived, he took a ride with a lecturer. so they thought he would go back on the same ride... but somehow he did not. so luckily we were still there... and he rode home with us. so i technically rescued a person today :D

then i arrived at 130pm. but @ 5pm, i had to head to seremban for my 21-year old cousin's wedding. yeahhh... she's only 21! sigh... anyway, i didn't want to go because i was bloody tired. but i was given the task to be a make-up artist for the day since my aunt forgot to hire one. i only get to rest at 130am that day.

so today is my good friend, salihah's engagement. i remembered that 10 years ago, she said she didn't want to get married and that we all can kick her butt if she does. well, looks like i have some kicking ass to do :)))))

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

Like only a woman can

I wasn’t perfect
I’ve done a lot of stupid things
Still no angel
I wasn’t looking for forgiveness
Wasn’t laid out by my pride
Shocked by her attention
And someone signed me up for love
I didn’t want it
And now I can’t live without it

She changed my life
She cleaned me up
She found my heart
Like only a woman can
She pulls me up
When she knows I’m sad
She knows her man
Like only a woman can

She’s kind of perfect
She’s kind of everything I’m not
Yeah, she’s an angel
And it’s amazing how she’s patient
Even more at times I’m not
She’s my conscience
And who decided I’d be hers
I wanna hate them
Cos now I can’t live without her

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by brian mcfadden

not a big fan but i thought the song is sweet :)
haih... siapalah jejaka yg sanggup nyanyikan lagu ni utk aku??
kuang kuang kuanggg... hahaha

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Fun in the Sun!

my friends back from matrix and i planned to go on a trip to malacca on the 3rd and the 4th of july. two even took a day off to be part of this trip.

a few days before the trip... specifically speaking, on tuesday, i was called up by my lecturers and they said that my client was not convincing enough that i had to redo report. finding a new client for my project wasn't easy and i was also given only two days to fix it.

i had to resubmit on thursday by noon. i was really bummed so i decided to bail out from the trip. luckily my friends were kind enough to postpone it until i submit that noon.

i slept for only two hours that wednesday and four the day before... but hanging out with my crazy friends, i didn't feel at all sleepy. in fact, when we came back from our visits to the guest house at 1230am, i was still the last person to fall asleep.

malacca's beauty was most seen at night where they have gorgeous lighting on the buildings. we went to jonkerstreet and only to be disappointed by extreme absence of the stalls. perhaps it was due to rain or maybe they only open on weekends... anyway, i blame the cashier at kenny rogers for convincing us that it was open.

we went anyway... although the shops was closed but it was still a beautiful sight. the shophouses were really unique in their own way... in terms of architecture detailing and building use.

here are some photos that i like best :)

with my roundup gang at the kancil guesthouse :) our stay was only for a night and we paid rm20 for a double and a triple. it was a very nice place. although the toilet they had was a common toilet like in the dormitories. but it was a very nice place for a short stay.

at jonkerstreet :D

try the atv... it was really cool... except for the part where i get stuck at the slope! that was really embarrassing!

we head to PD on our way back. took summo crazy photos :)

overall, it was a success despite missing bits here and there... like not knowing the perfect place to eat, one of us caught the flu (a monkey flu to be exact), one of us not having the money... can't wait to do it again :)

after this trip, i had a blissful 15hr sleep... i think i have to pray that i don't get any liver failure soon.

well... let's all hope for a better tomorrow, shall we?

*sigh... school starts tomorrow and i dread it. i want the vacation to last forever!

Monday, 30 June 2008

A Record

i've never been this frenzy! five blogs a day!

i'm in a sketching frenzy... and James McAvoy is my current victim!

Four too many!

i know i know... four blogs in one day.

what was i thinking??!

Andy Roddick mu was Andy Roddick ku...

the key word is WAS! hahah...

i used to love andy roddick. now not anymore. i've grown out of it, i guess.

during that time of my mega admiration towards him... i had 75 sketches of him and i find it embarrassing to admit... verbally that is.

these are a few of my best works.

Understand this...

we all can be a jerk at times. but so can you. the issue is... do you realize it?

because i do. i am fully aware of my actions and the consequences. and i know i can fix it. but i can't control what you would think. i am not that powerful.

so because of that, because i care, i try to be as nice as i can.

don't start telling me about what a jerk i am when you have been a jerk and i haven't said anything about it.

because i know when or where i screw up and i can fix it... i don't need you telling me because it doesn't make things easier. it makes me feel like shit. and i don't need that from you.

understand this - i don't just stay and live for the moment without considering the consequences of my actions. either good or bad, i am fully aware of it... and i can fix it.

if you let me...

Art PortFolio

i just started sketching again. sketching is something i've done since i was small. and i can't remember exactly what my drawings was nor kept my drawings back then... but i remember them being awful.

then when i was 13, i started sketching portraits of people. my first was leonardo dicaprio's ;) back then titanic was like a huge thing so... anyway, the sketch was probably in the dumpster or drain... somewhere... it was horrible, that was why.

over 3 years, i started developing my interest. with my art teacher discovering what i have and she was the one that initiated me. in class, we were told to keep out sketches in a loose binding folder. of course, when it's loose, it got lost.

so when i was 16, i decided i should have a sketchbook and have been keeping my drawings since then, either terrible or good... i don't mind. there's indescribable satisfaction when i look through them.

8 years and 10 volumes of sketch book later...

i'm going to post my previous drawings on my blogs next time!

Friday, 27 June 2008

U got... Dihendaki, Jolok!

Yesterday i went to meet my friends back in matrix to discuss about our holiday plan to Malacca. yeah , we're just going to Malacca... nothing extravagant. anyway, a member was turning up late so my good friend (who is so friggin hillarious and she showed up at Pyramid with a tie-die pants) started to crack up crazy riddles.

the first one was:
Q: if you're standing behind a car, what will the car say?
A: "You got exhausted!"

and the second one goes like this:
Q: if you're standing in front of a car, what will the car say?
A: "You got tired"

hahah... ok it wasn't that funny but the fact she took the liberty to do so while we waited for the other friend and with such passion in delivering it by making a '3D' loser sign with her hand, every time we guessed wrong. a '3D' loser sign is something she made up so that we can see the word 'L' in all angles.

cheesy. but it's funny.

i can always count on her for ridiculous humour. u can never imagine what she would come up with.

after dinner, we all went and catch a movie "wanted". the movie just came out and i desperately wanted to see my hero, James McAvoy. since it's a weekday and i bet there's not many people are going to see, i seized the opportunity by booking in advance. we thought of not claiming the tickets first because we thought no one wanted to watch but luckily we changed our minds and claimed it because it was a full house that night. the movie was brilliant... even if it sucked, i still love my scotsman :) i thought it was a serious typical hitman movie... but apparently, there were a lot of humour and we were laughing hysterically.

anyone watched the trailer? there was this part were angelina jolie was driving a red viper (i think) and she drifted the car to take in James in the passenger side? man that was a cool stunt... but i didn't expect people would clap at the end of the scene. it felt like we were in a circus show. but yeah, the movie did felt like a circus show that night. it was fun.

after the movie, guess what my crazy friend came up with? she started mimicking "wanted" scenes in malay. first translating "wanted" into Malay and pretending she was jolie... only in the malay version, she claimed to be angelina jolok! haha... and jolie's character in the movie is 'fox' whilst jolok's version is called 'musang'. i think i inhaled too much oxygen from the laughing, i actually felt light and was driving a little carelessly. we almost got hit by a car and got a sarcastic greeting from a toll-gate girl. but let me assure u that the almost-accident part wasn't my fault.

so despite a bad end to the night, it was fun.

can't wait for the road trip to Malacca!

Thursday, 26 June 2008

i so can relate to this... har har har!

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Architects are like Prostitutes

1. You work weird (night time) -
Overtime ...
Just like prostitutes.

2. They pay you to make the client happy...
Just like a prostitute.

3. The client pays a lot of money, but
your employer keeps almost every
Just like a prostitute.

4. You are rewarded for fulfilling the
client's dreams...
Just like a prostitute.

5. Your friendships fall apart and you
end up hanging out with people in
the same profession as you...
Just like a prostitute.

6. When you have to meet the client you
always have to be perfectly
Just like a prostitute.

7. But when you go back home it seems
like you are coming back from
Just like a prostitute.

8. The client always wants to pay less
but expects incredible things
from you...
Just like a prostitute.

9. When people ask you about your job,
you have difficulties to explain
Just like a prostitute.

10. Everyday when you wake up, you say:
"I'm not going to spent the rest
of my life doing this."
Just like a prostitute.

-got this from a jr's blog-

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

The Last King of Scotland

I just recently saw the movie from the satellite TV network system. i missed the first hour of the movie. and since my Scottish hero is on, i decided to stay glued to the TV, even though it frustrates me not knowing how Dr. Garrigan and the previous Ugandan president, Idi Amin met.

Only when my mother, who was a history teacher, joined me to watch that I only find out that the movie was based on actual events. The dictator/president character was based on a real-life character. Idi Amin was a Muslim... and it scared me to know the fact that a Muslim leader can be so terrifying when Islam is all about peace and humility. and it makes me appreciate more that I'm here in Malaysia, although facing political and economic instability, I still feel safe.

Dr. Garrigan 's character was Idi Amin's physician. Although his character was fictional, it was one that caught me (not the fact that James McAvoy played it). Although missing the whole section where he and Idi Amin officially met, i understand that he came to Uganda in need of recognition. however, after 6 years of being Idi Amin's closest advisor, he suddenly realized that his need for recognition has blinded him. It makes me think that we shouldn't just stay and live for the moment without considering of the consequences of our actions. Yes, we all want to achieve so many things and be recognized, be known, needed, wanted, loved or let me put in Jerry Maguire's term - we all want the 'kwan'.

but let's not forget the kwans we already have - our families and friends.

but bravo to Forest Whitaker for his performance as Idi Amin. He earned his Oscar for best actor. At first, i resented his win because i thought Leonardo Dicaprio should earn it for his performance in the Departed. but after i saw this movie, i finally found out that his acting outperformed dicaprio's by a mile.

Monday, 23 June 2008

It's not just about the right time...

so i have been repeatedly asked by traditional, conservative mothers the FAQ - when am i going to get married?

by my age, these traditional and conservative mothers are already married or some even already have their first child by now. not to say being traditional and conservative is bad. half of my friends are married or already have their first child by now. they're lucky they've found someone they love and want to spend the rest of their lives with.

so maybe my journey for 'the one' is a little further than the rest. so maybe it is the right time for me to get married... but marriage is not about because it's the right time to get married, it's also about finding the right person to be married to.

yeah... i maybe a little picky. but its actually more that, well metaphorically speaking, i just haven't found someone who is made to finish my duet (hahah! thanks to Enchanted). so i can't say i'm picky. because all the criterias that i want in a guy has been completely useless. i have no criterias at all now. when he's the one, he's the one... even if the guy has all the total opposite of the criterias u have in ur list.

so we are all growing old and the time might have been right for us to settle down all along since we reached puberty but hey, if u haven't find the right person yet, would u want to be married just simply it was the time to?

no right?

so what's wrong with waiting a little longer, what's wrong with being miserable watching everyone else with their happily ever after so that u can eventually find yours?

because it's not just about the right time...

(with reference from mrs. faiza mohd fauzi and from the movie - definitely maybe)

Saturday, 21 June 2008

Sebastian and Rosalinda

this is a funny video done by UM architecture student... (i'm only part as the audience and not the makers). won first runner up of the USM workshop 2008 for the animation category! good job, guys!


Saturday, 7 June 2008


Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

by sarah mclachlan

sarah mclachlan is a beautiful singer/songwriter, who may not seem the most popular singer next to britney spears alike... but only because she was hardly given justice by Malaysian fans.

Tuesday, 3 June 2008


have u ever feel like u have everything in this world but still feel like u miss something? it makes u even more sad that u actually don't know what's missing.
how can u appreciate what u have when u feel empty?
are we all on the right track in getting what we want in this world?
maybe it is more meaningful if we do it for God and for afterlife...

maybe we should all just quit... whatever we are doing

and meditate...

*i miss my cat... dani! come home please! save us the embarrassment of circulating posters of u to our neighbours and extended neighbours!

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love

And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

by the click 5

Monday, 26 May 2008


suddenly the song rings in my head as i came back from rantai event at the annexe gallery, central market. rantai is an event organizer to help expose newcomer bands. anyway, good job! acoustic night was great!

and thanks tuan puteri ammy temankan patik yg menjunjung titah lecturer jabatan senibina.

anyway, the song that suddenly rings in my head is the theme song from 'cinta korporat'. i'm not sure if u remember that series from a TV3 segment called 'identity'(if i'm not mistaken). it was back when azhar sulaiman looked... young :D
the theme song was by amy mastura called 'kembalilah'. was wondering if any of u indie bands interested in doing a cover version. just a thought :)
if u don't know what the heck am i talking about. here's a hint >>>

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Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Where Are Thou, Love?

Dani has been missing for three days. First time he's been missing this long. Rama misses you. We miss you... :,((((

COME HOME, DANI!!! dating ngan new girlfriend pon, blk la rumah makan... jumpa mak ayah... ishhhh!

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Treat People How u Want to be Treated

i believe so much in the quote. u treat people how u want to be treated. basically, i treat people how i want them to treat me. however, the tables would definitely turn if they treat me... well, not in a way that i would like it. thus... i treat them by HOW they treat me in the first place. it's only fair isn't it?

well... it's true some of us like to do our own thing and stuffs. but hey, if they can do it... why can't i? i like to do my own stuffs too with certain people. so if friendship matters, they'd value my opinion and also value me.

anyway... talking about doing my own stuffs with certain people. i went out with my sisters today. we went to OU. oh and yesterday, i went to the curve AND OU. and shopped for a watch... cost me rm250! haha... but the retail was rm499 so it was a good buy. so today, i went on and pamper myself and bought me a pair of jean, two necklaces and two pairs of shoes! i have to hide them from my mom. she'd kill me if she knew i bought another pair of shoes. before that, we watched What Happens in Vegas. i underestimated that movie. but hey, the movie was loads of fun!

i heart ashton kutcher!!!

Friday, 16 May 2008

indieGENIUS - life as a design thesis begins!

I haven't told u about my second proposal. we were suppose to present two proposals on thursday. up to tuesday night, i haven't a clue on my second proposal but i've firmed up on my first topic, which was the Environmental Awareness Centre. i was pretty confident with the first topic. having read a lot of materials and even watching documentary movies for it. i really wanted the project 'cause i kind of have an idea what it'll turn out. but i have to comply to my lecturer's instructions - the second proposal.

at first, i thought of taking it lightly so i'll end up with the first but there are cases when they don't accept both... then i'll end up with having nothing but probably a bruised ego. so i went looking for my second topic. i was browsing the internet for something i really have deep interest with - arts/culture. and i came across this street art graffiti on the walls of a building in Malaysia.

I thought, hey that's really cool... but i bet DBKL will have them clean in no time. so i thought it's pretty unfair for the graffiti artist to have his work done but only acknowledged as a work of vandalism and damaging public property. so i thought of having a centre for street art for them to express their art in a more positive way. having discussed this further with a friend, i kind of doubted this because i am suppose to proposing an 'architecture' in the end... and a street is not 'architecture'. and my friend told me why don't you try Indie Arts? it suddenlt triggers an idea! because i've always love Indie arts but i didn't notice it because i love a lot of things ;)

i chatted up with a few friends from other architecture schools, who are indie artists and asked them what they thought of the Centre.4.Independent Arts? and they thought they were cool. it got me even more excited when i get positive feedbacks from Indie artists. so i studied further...

The most general definition of the word is to be independent from the mainstream. The word has become most often associated with a subculture defined by its associated music, fashion, behavior and beliefs. Indie culture is an avant-garde lifestyle which follows social trends that are considered to consciously deviate from the mainstream. One common belief within indie culture is anti-conformity. The major influence for the indie culture came out of the indie music scene, associated with the DIY culture to the arts. Many followers of the indie culture are associated with local independent art and music scenes.

from the star online, June 2006,
The textbook definition of the word indie was derived from the term “independent”, forming its ethos around the notion that being indie meant being independent from the mainstream (a simplistic description, but one that cuts to the core). But the term has taken a whole new meaning over the years, used as a means to describe a niche subculture, its fashion and of course, the music involved. Not many indie acts can boast continuity and popularity here.

The issues i've looked into are that Indie Culture has become a subculture in Malaysia but they are often seen as bad influence (vandalism etc). Artists often have to travel to spread their creativity but they don’t have that much money. So to solve this, hence the Indie Cultural Centre, which i'm attempting to call indieGENIUS. so the aims and objectives of the centre is to create a centre as a medium for the indie artists to collaborate, exchange ideas and spread the movement and as a transitional stage or to help the artists go a step further in their pursuit of stardom. A centre as a culture check on the movement so that it won’t portray bad influences to fans and artists alike. A community/commercial to market indie arts.

So it's more like a cultural arts centre. rather than defining it as the conventional Malay cultural or chinese or india cultural arts... i'm doing it indie style. Indie cultural arts centre a.k.a indieGENIUS!

wish me luck!

btw, i havent printed my other presentation board but i was already sleepy. this was 6am (note that, i didn't sleep for 24 running hours) presentation starts at 9.50am so i figured i'd wake up at 830am and i can leave the house by 9am. get the thing printed by 930 and zoomed off to faculty. but after, what felt like a few seconds of laying my head down, i got a phone call from a friend. i woke up and it was too late to answer it. and i notice the room was all bright - daylit bright. and i saw the clock says, 10am!!! shiiiiiiiiiittttt!!! the first thing i felt like doing was cry... or scold someone... but it was my fault and carelessness so i had to be responsible for it on my own.

i arrived at the faculty at 11 am. at the moment when i came in, a fellow peer was presenting his proposal - one of it happens to be a street art centre... which was totally denied by the lecturers... so am i lucky or what??? fiuhhhh~!

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Environmental Awareness Centre Proposal

i saw the movie documentary - The Inconvenient Truth and The 11th Hour. there are some people who say that the movies are scare tactics schemed by certain parties. so what if they are scare tactics? we should be scared of what's happening with our environment now.

What we're doing now will affect our children in the near future. It may not happen in my lifetime but i don't want my children to suffer the consequences of what we did today in the name of our selfishness, in the name of economy and politics.

Quoted from 'The 11th Hour',
We live in a human-created environment, where it is very easy to think that we’re different from other creatures. We are smart, we create our own habitat and we don’t need nature. Our attitudes are based on selfishness, based on the economic and politics situation we have. It is time that we take the environmental crisis for what it is. This planet is our only home. If we destroy it, there is no where else for us to go.

However, to solve environmental crisis takes a global action and we, as Malaysians, should start doing our parts. In order to change people’s minds and hearts is a matter of lifting level of awareness. Gary Tooze, from the same movie, mentioned that Deepak Chopra quoted,
"people are really doing the best they can given their level of awareness"

Malaysia has signed global warming treaty in 1993 but what exactly has Malaysia done in our part? we may not suffer the effects of greenhouse gases as much as other countries but floods and drastic change of weather are warnings from nature. And last year's devastating storm in Johor is also a warning. And if the northern hemisphere is flooded with water, there will be millions of refugees and where they might head? Our country may be flooded with not just water but millions of refugees.

The issues I've looked into is that the governmental and non-governmental bodies that fight for our environment are located in remote areas. Why must a nature society hq be located in remote areas? Why can't it be located in the middle of urban center where they are more people to educate and problems to be solved?
Second issue is that the architecture of the nature society hq does not reflect their mission in environmental defense.
Third issue will be Malaysians are still unaware of the environmental issues namely the global warming.

Hence, my design thesis proposal - Environmental Awareness Center

The aims and objectives of this thesis proposal is to create an iconic building where it shall be a medium to educate people about sustainable architecture and to highlight the mission of nature society through architecture. Secondly, the center will also serve as a green lung in central urban area because creating more parks and green spaces in urban areas could cool cities by up to 4°C – possibly enough to offset the warming from climate change – say researchers. Thirdly is to educate and to instill environmental awareness amongst Malaysians and constantly remind the public of the importance of conserving the environment.

So perhaps this design thesis proposal will be accepted because i really want to do this. I've developed an interest for the environment within two weeks, thanks to Al Gore's The Inconvenient Truth. The world, our only home, is going to be destroyed by us humans... and surface temperature will rise sooner or later but right now, it is at accelerating rate. And it takes a global solution to help solve it and it's about time Malaysians unite to fight global warming! :))))

Monday, 12 May 2008

Yesterday was a success!

as u all know... yesterday was mother's day. i wasn't sure how to celebrate yet but thank God, my dad rang me up and said that he and my mom are out somewhere and he told me to go get a cake and give her a surprise celebration when they get back. i somehow think my dad instructed me not like a dad to a daughter but like a boss to his staff. he told me that they'd be back in half an hour.

it was impossible to get things done before that. first, i had to get the cake and a card and make sure everyone in the house sign it (mind u, my family is the size of the brady bunch) so i told my dad that it couldn't be done and let's do it after maghrib prayers. my dad agreed.

so i put aside my work that's due on the 15th and went out to get a cake and a card and all. luckily i told my dad that it can't be done within half an hour. well it took me forty-five minutes just to purchase a blueberry cheese cake and a card.

after my younger sister and i returned, we tried our best to avoid Mom who was tending to her orchids. we sneaked into my brothers' room. (my mom hardly goes there. don't know why though...). and started decorating the presents we got her. yeah, i said decorating because we got her new orchids to add to her collection. it was a bit impossible to be wrapping them as they are so delicate and are already beautiful by themselves.

so when the time draws near. my dad was in charge in escorting my mom, who had no clue. we all were already downstairs and i angled an orchid and the card towards the staircase, in hope that when Mom goes down the flight, that would be the first thing she sees. and it worked! my mom was smiling widely and said, 'awwww' and kissed all her children. the living/dining area was so full of love that i felt it was almost warm.

we had the cake and gave her the other two orchids. she was so pleased that she wanted to frame the pictures of her and the orchids we took. we told her that it was ayah's idea to give her a surprise and also that we're sorry that we purposely didn't wish her earlier. it was due to the surprise.

what did i write in the card? i told her, i wouldn't be the person i am right now if it weren't for her.

yesterday was a success! today is my older sister's birthday. tomorrow is still a question... but let's hope for a better tomorrow.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

New layout!!!

New Layout of my 24th year in life and my 2nd yr in blogging!

the reason for new layout is that i suddenly feel older today. and i'm starting to appreciate what i have around me. rather than questionning... i should start embracing.
the photo is taken in angkor wat, cambodia, when i was on a school trip to siem reap. angkor wat has the most beautiful setting i have ever seen. great lighting, great panorama, great architecture. the cambodians civilization are far more advance than they seem they are. it's all due to war... what a waste...

i just took a shot of my leg for this blog as a symbol that feet is an important part of the body.

because it takes u to places. it takes u through time.

and my feet has taken me a long way... beside making my shoes worn out ;) my feet has taken me to a better tomorrow...

enjoy ma peeps!

24 and counting...

Happy 31st mothers' day to my mom!

the most completed woman in the world!
- has a successful hubby of a successful 31 years of marriage (so far!!)
- has six wonderful kids!
- has a pair of adorable grandkids.
- a well-to-do family
- a superb cook and tauke roti arab terhebat!
- most of all... she's a mother :,)))))

and how can other people say their mums are the greatest??? they don't know how great u are yet! all my love to u, mak!

anyway... although it is mothers' day...

i suddenly feel older today... sigh*

Saturday, 10 May 2008


Lies hurt more
than the truth
why do I live
in self pity
and expect disappointment
more then optimism
or does enjoyment
lead me to new
worlds which I can not
live on
the air is getting
thin and I want to
stay for some time
too bad I can not
live in my dreams
for then utopia would be
reached wouldn't it

by Stanley Naber

it's beautiful isn't it? the poem i mean? this is something i can definitely relate to. we live in a world with all sorts of people. but they are easier categorized based on our dislikes and likes. personally, i loathe hypocrites... they're so much meaner than those people who keeps secrets (although secrets tend to unfold by itself) or even much more worse than people who tell lies.

for starters, they think you're stupid because they think they know u. and because they think they know you, they try to make u feel important at the time when they need u but the least when they think the time isn't necessary to share with u. all that in hope you wouldn't notice the whole agenda behind it.

but most of the time, you notice it... especially when they are not careful.

and it hurts.
no matter how much you try to understand.

it's not that i live in self-pity or self-disappointment.
but i pity them and disappointed in them for not knowing me for who i am but what they think i am.

i'm only questioning myself 'why?'


Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

>>>---> I <3 THIS SONG! i usually dont listen to the beatles so i thank u david archuleta for performing this beautiful song on american idol... otherwise i wouldnt have known it.

ROOTING FOR DAVID ARCHULETA ;*******!!! and the world will live as one ;))))

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

KaChing! KaChing!

i just got rm 1,666 from me sugar daddy. for a bday present. don't believe me???

note the date. it is on my bday!

kidding lar... actually... my two other friends and i just won first prize in this architectural competition held by MNS and Optima. a whole rm5000 so split by three... hence the .66... don't believe me???

i had to walk from the lrt pasar seni to menara dayabumi. it was so damn hot and i was wearing black. can u imagine how much heat i was absorbing? don't believe me???

< thats moi in the middle and on me left and right is Mr. Kong Seng Yeap (best PAM student!) and Mr. Iskandar (who recently became a father to a second child! Congrats!)>

that's when i got inspired to choose this site for my design thesis. anyway, i hate that street. i was crossing that street to get to the lrt and it was green for us pedestrians and red for vehicles. and some drivers just dont get it... so since it was green, i took my own sweet time to cross and i notice a blue wira didnt want to stop but eventually he did slow down to let me through. after i past him, this guy on a motorcycle (would not mention race here) and he simply refuses to stop and he THINKS he can scare me with the last minute brake. but hell no! i looked at him in the eye and told him, *'MERAH!' and walked off.

obviously i bruised his ego... i dont know how much but basically, i'm pretty happy that i managed to do so. cause the guy kinda vroomed away furiously. what a loser... prick... i dont care if u hate me cursing... sue me :P

well... to summarize yesterday... i was late for the ceremony, got lost looking for the lobby of dayabumi, soaked with sweat when i got there, got my camera tangled with my name tag leash and earphones when my name was announced to receive the prize, almost got hit by a car and a motorcycle... in the end, KaChing! KaChing! i'm rm1,666.66 richer today :DDDDDD and lived to blog about it ;))))))

* merah - red

Friday, 2 May 2008

Post labour day

yesterday i was out with two other good friends... also joined by another at 3pm. we went to OU and caught 3 movies from 9am to 5pm.

first movie is 'over her dead body'. all right before someone turns me in, i admit this movie was premiered in my guest room. hahaha... we couldnt find a 3rd movie that was appealing enough so we had to cheat. we paid rm10 nevertheless... so same difference! the movie was ok... i especially love lake bell's performance. i've never seen her before. so watching her for the first time, i'd give her A+ for her performance. if anybody is doubting to see this... i'd say that lake bell and paul rudd won't disappoint u in the laughing department.

the second movie is 'fool's gold'. i wasn't that intrigue to watch but as i heard matthew mcconaughey and kate hudson joining forces again, i thought this would be as much fun as 'how to lose a guy in 10 days'. however, there's more action in this new movie. like treasure hunting, mentor-turned-nemesis, a ruthless rapper called bigbunny, a major blond ( but not blond) socialite called gemma and a yacht owned by a billionaire, the 'precious gem'. to make things much more simpler... like simon cowell would say, forgettable but there's one thing i wont forget is gemma honeycutt. i think there's a little bit of her in all of us.

the third movie is 'forbidden kingdom'. the only out of the three that i really want to watch. only because i've been wanting to see jet li and jackie chan in one movie. i've been more of a jackie chan fan than jet li. jet li was too serious for me. but apparently, in this movie... he proved otherwise. superb kungfu performance by all even that sky high boy, michael angarano. he must've put a lot of effort in making it real. although there are a few boring moments in this but hey, there's jet li and jackie chan in it. that's all needed to make the movie successful. i think... ;)

and we head of to william for dinner. there are three people but only ordered meals for two. don't worry. the meals are a size for 1.5 of each girl actually. so two meals and drinks was more than enough. in fact, we couldn't finish it... ha ha... two meals cost rm62!what a crazy rip-off, isnt it? but we all still love william...

anyway, as this all happen... there was a fatal accident involving 2 UiTM students, whom both are friends of my older brother. They were both on a motorcycle, which actually belongs to the passenger, not the driver. the owner happens to have a fever and asked his friend to drive. and it so happens that, when they were at a traffic light, waiting for the green light. this smart honda crv driver accelerated as the light turned yellow and still going as it turned red and as the other lane was turning green. so there was a collision between two cars and the crv bounced over the divider and towards the two motorcyclist, who had no time to blink. the passenger was thrown off, survived with a few scratches. but the the driver was caught under the crv together with the motorcycle and dragged a few metres away. he died on the way to the hospital.

there was so much 'what if' questions that could be raised. what if the honda had not rammed in the traffic light? what if the other car had seen the honda speeding by? what if the owner of the motorcycle was the driver instead of the passenger?
the boy was my age and he could've just been a witness to another accident instead of the victim.

it's not our place to question God's methods. we should in fact embrace them.

it was his time. that's all. no matter how careful u are on the road, someone else might make a mistake and u have to pay for it.

and we should embrace it by reciting 'Al-fatihah' for him and not take our lives for granted as for Allah SWT can take us anytime. it also made me feel guilty for enjoying so much on labour day.

May Allah SWT blessed the soul of our brother. Al-fatihah... amin.

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Life begins!

as i'm writing this, my holiday officially begins. i just finished my last assignment. tomorrow morning i'm going to have them bind and submitted.

so life is a design thesis begins... here goes...

wish me luck!

Sunday, 20 April 2008

Answer: Is it two or three?

okay... a friend asked about girls exchanging air kisses when they meet or they bid their goodbyes. some does it three times... some does it twice.

the reason behind the three is because the customs from Arab... there, the greeting Assalamualaikum is associated with three light kisses. we've stereotyped Arabs as Islam and thus their customs has technically become ours. it's only customary. you do it or you don't... there's nothing wrong with that.

and how would you differentiate friends that does three or two? okay... first, don't stiff yourself when you blow your kisses. that way, it won't feel so awkward in case a friend is giving a third. always... anticipate the third kiss. even if it's not there... don't worry. no harm done. but to recognize this 3-kisses friend, they're usually more conservative, laid-back, religious (by relative) type. but you can't really predict actually. so it's best not to stiff yourself.

i'm a 3-kisses friend. but i can be flexible. i know that most friends usually does the 2-kiss greeting. i don't force people into the third kiss. but i don't stiff myself when i do.

so remember folks... don't be a stiff. ha ha ha!

tune in for more next week!

ps: my triplets kittens names >>>---> orange stripes are Robbie and Akhir and the female black striped is April.
i usually named my cats after their birth month. except for their mother. didn't have the inspiration back then.

Saturday, 19 April 2008

Tuning is a Mommy again...

my cat, Tuning, gave birth to triplet kittens today. i suspect the father was the ugly stray cat, who probably raped my cat. i saw her giving birth last night... which was disgusting but yet, i think, the most miraculous thing to watch.

haven't named them yet. my mom was thinking of giving it away because this would mean we'll have 6 cats. The first batch of twins by my cat is Rama and Dhani. they were born during the fasting month, Ramadhan. now is Rabiulakhir... so it's tough naming the triplets.

Rabi... Ula... Khir???

haha... nasty...

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Remember Me?

i'm reading a book. ok, i was suppose to be studying or doing my assignments since finals are coming up. but i can't put this book down. i'm hardly halfway through the book. and i think it's really interesting even though a bit disbelieving that someone can change so much within three years.

i was thinking. if i had an accident and that cost me my memories of 3 years, would i recognize myself and people around me? pretty much, i still think i am the same person i was 3 years ago... except a few new wardrobe and a new 'tudung' style.

and maybe except how i learn to appreciate and accept things or other people more. i may not open up that easily. i may give u something but it turns out the other. i learn to keep things to myself more and also not rely on other people so much as i rely on God.

are the people around me the same? no... some has gone overseas to study, experienced foreign cultures. some has work from 9 to 5 and earn bonuses at the end of the year. the only bonus i get is during raya and that doesnt even cover 1% of what my friends earn. some got severely huge crush, some got married, engaged... some got new car, laptops, handphones... basically they can stand on their own two feet. i, on the other hand, have to still find out if i'm capable of doing so.

i just found out a friend of mine got pregnant. that's another change within 3 years. was it TMTH, as quoted by Daniel Noriega from AI7... considering all that happened in a space of 3 years... yeah, it was TMTH. but a happy news nevertheless. all my doa's go to her.

a year from now, i'm hoping to earn my B.Arch.

until then, let's hope i don't get a 3-year memory black-hole. or if i do, let's hope i wake up to a good-looking, multimillionaire husband. ha ha...

Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella

Monday, 14 April 2008

This Is A Scene, This Ain't an Arms Race

i'm trying to beat someone at blogging. her current speed is 57b/y and increasing! btw, b/y means blogs per year. i'm only at the speed of 44b/y, but anyway... this ain't a race.

this is life. MY life.

so am i allowed to be emo without u bothering me, iskandar?

i had a little race actually. with a driver, in this context i would like to call J. so J refused to let me into an exit. to annoy me, J deliberately accelerated even though i gave signal i think even the short-sighted would eventually be able to see. almost missing my exit, i finally made it behind J's car but i gave a long blaring horn... just to let J know how pissed i was.

i should've been a race car driver. what J did simply increased my adrenaline and suddenly i felt the competition. i took over J's car and gave J the 'look' and as if to test my faith, J, in return, gave me the 'look' too. as i pass J, i saw in the rear view mirror that J did a hand gesture as if saying, y don't u use your head, lady?

excuse me... J was being an ass and J's telling me to use my head. i don't listen to asses, sweetie.

just to ignite the fire, J took over me again and i caught a glimpse of something. a red sticker at the back of J's car. a 'P' sticker.

no wonder.

Saturday, 12 April 2008

Definitely... Maybe...

I started this blog in april 2007 and this will only be my 42nd post.

Someone else started in february this year and ended up having 54 posts already.

So either i didnt have such a luxury of time or she has nothing better to do ;) Ha-Ha!

Anyway, i saw Definitely Maybe today. very sweet and romantic movie. only a few of ryan reynolds performance i really like. he really cant get the stereotype funny-cute-romantic guy look off him. but i cant really blame him for this one - the character really suited him well. wait. i rephrase - it suited him perfectly.

this review does not contain spoiler like the recently-reached-54posts-within-2-months blog. i just thought there were a lot of scenes from the movie that were really sweet. i really cant get over it and also... it makes me think. is there such guy out there? i mean literally here in malaysia. i don't know... maybe i'm too swooned by english words rather than malay. it's not that i'm not loving my mother tongue. i speak my mother tongue. but love words in malay are elaborated and long and i almost find it embarrassing.

"i kept it for years because it's the only thing i have that reminds me of you"
short. direct. sweet. but impactful. oops... theres's no such word. it's influential. effective bottom line.

the father-daughter relationship was also tear jerking. maybe its because his daughter portray too much of a smart girl. i cant remember having those thoughts back when i was 11. maybe i did. but it was bloody 13 years ago and i cant remember it. ha ha... but abigail breslin's performance was always superb. i definitely loved her in little miss sunshine, no reservations, raising helen... one of the biggest talent in child acting, i'd give her that.

"Dad, I can't believe you drank... and smoked... and was such a slut... But I still love you."

i dont remember saying things like that when i was 11. oh wait. my dad was never a drinker but he smoked way before i was born and he definitely wasnt a slut.

GO SEE NOW! but not as first dates... it's too much for a first date. seriously. watch with girlfriends and you'll have a major post-movie conversation after that.

i know i did.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Was in a Cave for the past few weeks and still in it...

i was supposed to be doing work. but i got really sick of looking at it really. just got a little bit more to go. but im so darned tired right now... my body isnt tired - i just had a 6-hr sleep which is considered a luxury for us architecture students. but my mind is utterly tired... numb... cant think anymore.

i've been quarantining myself from my outer archistudents-circle friends for almost a month now. missed them terribly. miss having free weekends... and spend $$$ carelessly.

so i've been too absorbed in my work... i've lost contact from the outside world. like a monk on meditation, like someone in search of something that i'm not even sure of . so i quit searching. i should start appreciating. i thought, what the heck... family and friends are everything. work/money are things in between... if i am going to look for something i have no clue about, i better take care what i have got a hold of. i'm sorry friends... i dont know what ive put ahead of me is less important than what ive left behind.

now i realize it. but whatever i decide, Allah SWT is with me. my family and friends are with me.

i have no regrets.

this course has turned me from a soft jell-o to a rock. and i hope to stay as a rock until the end of it. i do have passion for it... but i have more passion for something. something more... permanent - that is... the after-life. whatever i do now that is not entirely fulfilling, i better do as much as it would satisfy me... not others. i've learned what i can from the 1st yr until now. although it's in the hands of my teachers to pass me... but i really want to get out from this 'cave' soon... and God help me, i will... pray with me, folks... help me get through this 'cave'...

ps: i really dont mind going through puberty twice because i really want to go back to my Sri Aman days... waaaa... easy carefree dorky life!

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Gone Rasta Gone!

on saturday, i went to the curve and met with some friends from my former school.
we shopped at the flea market and then watched movie at cineleisure.

watched vantage point.
loved the plot. loved how the way the story was told.
but there was too much suspense that it was really killing me and my friends!

after movie, we were going for dinner.
the only thing i could think of is rasta - close. fast. cheap.
nana and ai ling agreed.
drove happily and arriving at the place.
only to notice a huge empty land.
i was like, since when this huge parking lot is here?
but it was actually where Rasta was...
we were like, what??!!! but then laughed our butts off for not knowing it was gone for quite some time!

embarrassed. we headed uptown.

Saturday, 8 March 2008


Today is election day and i'm voting for the first time.

Kind of nervous because i'm not sure of the procedure even though it is actually so simple but that made me even more nervous because i really dont want to make a fool out of myself for not understanding how to do simple stuffs.

Anyway, it went ok. i ticked which party i'm rooting for and place them in the box and that's it. my job as a malaysian citizen was done!

i was proud that i took a role of establishing our government although there are some nasty truth and hidden agendas that i know myself that they are not pleasing. i think a lot of times you have to play dirty in politics. like the saying, 'do a little evil to do greater good'.

so to all of you, who haven't registered yet to vote. please do so... even one vote matters!


Saturday, 1 March 2008

Wedding Marathon!

Hey avid readers aka Aishah... haha...

i slept for about 19 hrs last night. well not straigth of course...
was really tired. I had a submission marathon last week, which falls on wednesday, thursday AND friday.
and this weekend is a wedding marathon... Eppy's wedding is the afternoon...
she's so darned gorgeous... cant believe it was last 3 weeks my mother tried to match-make her with my brother!
Fizah's wedding is during the night and i love her Morrocon setting! and to hope that my pics doesnt turn out in one of her publicly premiered wedding videos (like the one i appeared in faiza's wedding!) was no use! i was there together with other prefects... zoomed in right next to her face! cant believe she still have that photo! ha ha!
Anyway... here are the photos!

interpretation: Aishah's coming! Hurry, Awan... snap it already!

told ya...

On fizah's wedding...

a little bit of camwhoring first

Thursday, 28 February 2008

When Are You Going to Get Married???

Ok... this is FAQ i am currently receiving from all the mums in my family tree. Other related questions are such:
1. Do u have a boyfriend?
2. Why don't u have a boyfriend?

and subsequently leads to FAQ number 3


I am four and twenty when i write this. and yes, most mothers were married with kids by my age and my answer to question number 1 is YES, tons of them so it's hard to pick one. No really... i have None...
And this leads to the answer to FAQ number 2:

1. I am no feminist but I am perhaps the one of the most scariest, unapproachable woman on earth (to guys that is) and going to be even more scarier after i wrote this - i suck at commitments, i talk to a guy like a guy, very independent, very firm about her stands, hates it when guys only talk to me because they want a relationship with me especially when they hardly know me and i'm the type who lets be friends first and see where it goes and trust me... it would take a lot of effort to sweep me off my feet.

2. I just don't have the time for relationships right now. I'm so busy juggling my assignments and i hardly keep in touch with my girlfriends... let alone attempting to find a boyfriend.

3. Despite all the above, i am still very reserved. I wait for the guy to make the first move and right now, there isnt any. perhaps due to the reasons above. and also, I haven't found the right guy yet... i want my next boyfriend to be my future husband. And till then... i rather stay single... uncommitted...

And the answer to FAQ number 3:

I am going to get married when i found my husband. FULL STOP!

Mothers, don't u get it that it does not only stressful to u that your daughters might turn into a spinster but we are even more stressed when u ask us those questions. For a muslim, when mothers ask us to do something and we do... but this is simply out of our hands really... it's no simple task like go out and buy fish... especially for girls like me...

Let me do the worrying ok? And let God set the path of my life. If i am going to get married... then i am. If my fate is to live a lonely life, who are we, as slaves of God, to question His methods? God has mysterious ways... we should just embrace what He gives us.

So to all mothers with single daughters out there... stop bombarding us with those FAQs.

To ALL single girls out there, who receives the same FAQs... i feel you!

"happy just the way i am, thank you very much!"
as quoted by Faiza!

Sunday, 24 February 2008

BBQ Splash Part 2!!!

Lesson # 3: How to fight back the people-throwing munkees?
Presenting Exhibit C >>>---->

Syed put up a hell of a fight! Bravo!

Lesson # 4: Despite being thrown... u should have a good time!
Displaying all exhibits!

Lesson # 5: Don't have to much of a good time... or else you'll burn the chicken... or almost set the house on fire... like we did
Presenting Exhibit D >>>---->

BBQ Splash Part 1!!!

Lesson #1: How to turn a harmless bbq/karaoke party into a people-throwing pool party?
Presenting Exhibit A >>>---->

Lesson #2: How to throw people into the pool?
Answer : Grab him by the arms and legs... also... by the hair
Presenting Exhibit B >>>---->

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

With You by Chris Brown

Need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Hey lil mama, ooh you're a stunner
Hot little figure, yes you a winner, and
I'm so glad to be yours
You're a class of your own and
Ooh little cutie, when you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart and
I'm so glad that you're mine
You are one of a kind, and
You mean to me what I mean to you
And together baby there is nothing we won't do

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... girl
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Oh girl

I don't want nobody else
Without you there's noone left, and
You're like Jordans on Saturday
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now
Hey lil shorty, say you care for me
You know I care for you
You know that I will be true
You know that I won't lie
You know that I will try
Be your everything
[ With You lyrics found on ]

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

Oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Yeah

And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so I won't run
I don't need another woman
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
They need their boo
They gotta see their boo
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
Hearts all over the world tonight

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh(girl)
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
Baby yeah