Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Two Thousand and Nine

2009 marks a significant year for me... not that i asked for a less complicated year or a better year. it has just been an interesting yearbook... and i'd look back on it anytime :)

the most embarrassing moment to date
i'd simply answer it was sometime in March 2009, where i broke down during a presentation and hyperventilated in front of an audience of 20 people or so. and conveniently, it happened in the middle of an exhibition hall, so that helped to further amplify my squeaks throughout the whole space. it was just so uncontrollable and no one came to my aid, i guess they were completely awed by the display (or they were worried i might turn into Incredible Hulk soon :P). for the first few days, it was too much of an embarrassment to talk about it. but when life gives u a lemon, give life a 'twist' ;D so after a while, i just make a joke out of it... just to get some lightness into the situation :) but to be honest, that was one of the most horrifically embarrassing episodes i wouldn't want to be in again... everrrrrr!

being an architect had been my ambition for 13 years. so in late April 2009, i finished my 5-gruelling-years-that-took-me-6-bloody-years-instead course and acquired a degree in August 2009. having that ambition helped me focus and help me know what i want and work towards it. why had i picked this ambition? i was a lot into arts... i wouldn't say i was gifted but i had passion for it and my mom sent me for art classes and that improved my art skills. and having my dad in the construction industry does influence me a lot. i guess architecture is a combination of both science and art... hence i took a profession that has both subjects that i am really passionate about.

love life
i'm not a type of person who easily falls for someone. i don't believe love comes that easy. it's not that simple. and i don't believe that love can be dimissed by a break-up... i think it's forever embedded inside of u despite how bad it turns out in the end. Because u gotta love something that's 'real' and 'worthwhile'... and that happened to me for the first time ever in November 2009...

with the exception of first topic, i hope to continue my diary in 2010 :)

See you in 2010! feliz año nuevo!! God bless :-*****

Thursday, 19 November 2009


i ridiculously took a vow - from now on, the only money i take out from my bank account is only to pay off my car n the minimal necessities to survive on monthly basis...

but if i dont religiously keep it, what consequences do i get other than not getting what i want by having the vow in the first place.

what caused this inspiration is that i miss someone terribly... even just the thought of it makes me almost want to cry. but i had to be strong... because i dont know if it's worth it... besides, i have to be in my right mind to be productive at work.

never have i expressed any sort of (rather) intimate feeling for someone... well, my next vow is that this will be my first and my last... for which, i hope n pray that all goes well and there's a better tomorrow for us... even if we had to part ways :)

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Things we do but never question

Recently, the feud between Malaysia and Indonesia escalated. Initially, in the 1960's (if i'm not mistaken) Indonesia did not conform to the idea of creating a new country - Malaya (now known as Malaysia). Perhaps that started the feud.

And soon later, came the issue of Indonesian maids who were abused by Malaysian employers and the Indonesian republic is trying to instill the idea that if Malaysians are to hire Indonesian maids, we need to comply new conditions - that the maids are to paid minimum of RM800/month and given a day off every week.

Well, they got to acknowledge this. Indonesia has the highest percentage of Muslim, almost 90%! Which makes the country has the largest Muslim population. So the maids (which mostly are Muslims) that gone work overseas can choose between a Rm1700 in Korea and Rm450 in Malaysia, where they don't have to take care of dogs or cook pork (which are both most banned animals to make physical contact with in Islam).

Now even the littlest issues like the Indonesian beauty Manohara's scandalous marriage to Kelantanese prince and currently, the Discovery Channel documentary coverage on Malaysia mistakenly took a Balinese dance as one of Malaysia's cultural traits.

As a result, there are huge confrontations done by the Indonesians (particularly students as Malaysian MEDIA reported that they were PAID to do so) and even rumors that Malaysians are being chased out of the country. In addition to that, Indonesia recently suffered massive earthquake that cost hundreds of lives and millions of dollars. And Malaysia sent volunteers flew in to help. and so rumor has it that the people in Padang actually threw stones at the volunteers.

Have they forgotten one question? - WE ARE ALL FROM THE SAME DESCENDANTS - the MALAY archipelago region.

Not to forget, the MEDIA who acts as the informer, the middle person... they are capable of feeding us false stories and that could add fuel to the fire. Media does not really play a part to help resolve our disputes. (Mind you, i just don't trust the media nowadays...)

The feud between Malaysia and Indonesia has yet reminded me of another feud.

Malaysia and Singapore.


Think about it.

for we hope of a better tomorrow...

Friday, 23 October 2009

Fire Stone

Back in high school, where most of us are still immature and of raging hormones, i used to pick up a lot of petty fights with friends. the littlest things are made a huge fuss and we ended up not speaking for days.

so i had a quarrel with my friend when i was sixteen. the matter was perhaps so small and insignificant because i have no memory what caused the quarrel in the first place. but i remembered being ridiculously annoyed and so was my friend towards me. instead of trying to resolve our differences (because we REFUSE to talk to each other), we confided into a middle person.

but the middle person fed us false stories that made the quarrel even worse. the person back stabbed me to my friend and the other around. and somehow, we found out that the middle person was not being fair in arbitrating the quarrel. instead, the person actually added fuel to the fire.

my friend and i managed to resolve our dispute in the end, without the help of the middle person.

so when i first vote for the 2008 election, the politics in Malaysia has somehow became what i went through in high school.

two parties with different views on a matter and is further provoked by a middle person -


let's hope for a better tomorrow...

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Gift Of A Friend

A friend came upon a crossroad and she was undecided which way to turn... instead of going forward, she considered turning back and give up on her journey... even though she already walked a thousand miles and achieved so many things...

this is one of the moments where you turn to your friends and families for support. they're always there for you and will always have your back... that's a Gift of a Friend :)

all you gotta do is have faith :) and never give up...

Demi Lovato - Gift Of A Friend

Sometimes You think You'll Be Fine by Yourself
Cause a Dream is a Wish You Make all alone
Its Easy to Feel Like You Dont Need Help
But Its Harder To Walk On Your Own

You'll Change Inside
When You Realize
The World Comes To Life
and Everythings Alright
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend

Someone Who knows When Your Lost and Your Scared
There through The Highs and The Lows
Someone You Can Count On, Someone Who Cares
Besides You Where Ever You Go

And When The Hope Crashes Down
Shattering To The Ground
You'll, You'll Feel All Alone
When You Dont Know Which Way To Go
And There's No Such Leading You On
You're Not Alone

The World Comes To Life
and Everythings Alright
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe In
When You Believe In
You Can Believe In
The Gift of A Friend


Chin up... you can do it, nana! we all know you can!! *HUGGGSSSS!!*

Friday, 2 October 2009

Comparisons are easily done...

this post has got nothing to do with katy perry's thinking of you... but it did inspire the title a little bit :P


here is an interesting article. it is written very well in Malay. the article mentioned about how the author's child compared his local-made mpv to his brother's luxurious Alphard. it is a pretty worry-some when ur very young children's minds are poisoned by materialism. wearing or using expensive brands would mean that we are somebody to be envied for...

for what exactly? everything in this world is temporary... whatever you bought or have will not mean anything in the after-life.

the article taught us on the real purpose of life and also how to appreciate what we have.

i particularly like the part when the author said that he didn't like it when his son compared him to his brother... and he also said, but then again, parents have compared their kids to other kids. i, myself, am still experiencing this... although the comparison is no longer within the academic achievement category, parents are likely to find other categories to begin comparing all over again :)

well let's hope it's a better tomorrow for me :D

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Mother Nature's Rage

my sister told me that her friend had to evacuate from her high-rise apartment because they felt the building shook. and i recalled my experience just 3 hours earlier... although i was in my car, stuck in traffic... i felt the shaking although my car was at halt. it was a good rhythmic shake that made me thought maybe it's the engine... but the shaking was so distinct that it was impossible to ignore. however, my car is brand new so i don't think it has broken down or need servicing since i just serviced it last 2000km.

i looked around, embarrassed if anyone notice my car shook. but everyone was also stuck in the traffic, minding their own business. i also thought it could be the wind... but the trees aren't shaking, even the leaves are still.

so when my sister told me about her friend's experience, it kind of hit me... i asked if it happened around 6-630pm and when she said yes, it confirmed my doubt. i did felt the earth shake...

and then came the 8 o'clock news about an earthquake centred near Sumatera... thousands of miles away and what i felt was only a tiny ripple... imagine what would happen if it was the centre...

and there was the earthquake plus tsunami disaster in Samoa...

typhoon ketsana is overtaking cambodia, phillipines and vietnam.

many were killed... by mother nature's rage... because we are slowly destroying our world...


let us pray for a better tomorrow...

Monday, 14 September 2009

Just a thought...

only God knows that what we eat, drink, breathe now might take a toll on us... a lot sooner than we think...

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Thanks for the memories

a friend of mine passed this morning. she was just 31. she had been coughing for the last 3months. when she started coughing out blood, she finally went to the hospital. what suspected to be a case of TB became the case of lung cancer. by the time, they found out, it was already at stage 4 and was spreading to her spine, causing her to paralyze from waist down.

and she was 7 months pregnant at the time.

i'm still stunned by the fact that she is no longer with us. she was the one who gave warm welcome to me when i started my practical training... she never fail to invite me for lunch, or an outting to OU during the long friday lunch breaks... we gossiped about the people in the office... i visited her home, met her 2 very young kids and husband.

she was one who takes care of her health. she reads the ingredients before she consumes them (makes sure that theyre healthy). she never smokes! never fond of it anyway. when i found out she was battling cancer... i just couldnt believe it. for someone as young and fit as she was... and it felt just like yesterday, we both had lunch, laughing and talking about our last trip to Bali. and now i'm speaking of her in past tense...

when she was diagnosed of stage 4 cancer, the doctors advised that the baby must be taken out. she even texted everyone that her chances of survival was very slim. and she apologized for any of her wrong-doings and she also forgave us. i visited her last monday and that was hours before the c-section is carried out. although she looked frail but somehow she looked so strong... apparently nodding and waving at me like we're having normal conversation.

on tuesday, i was relieved with the news that both baby and mother are in stable condition. although she was still unconscious, i was hoping that she would revive somehow.

but only her baby survived... but she did not. and i'm sorry i couldn't attend the tahlil.


and k.rida, thanks for the memories...

let us hope that there will be a better tomorrow.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

bagai kacang lupakan kulit.. a story of how some Malays forgot their skin is 'sawo matang' and not putih... (reposted)

I find this blogpost very intriguing. My cousin posted from his from his friend's blog and i like this post so much so i decided to repost it... to share it with my circle of friends because these douchebags, these self-proclaimed "elites" really exists!

This is a msg from my cousin -

The following is a repost of a Facebook note written by my friend Ahmad Firdaus Yaakop, better known among friends as Robo. He is currently studying at the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland.

I reposted this with permission from him because I sincerely feel that the message should reach a wider audience/readership than just his circle of friends. I hope we all (especially Malaysians) can learn a thing or two from his recollections; that for one thing no matter where you are in the socioeconomic ladder, it doesn't mean squat if you don't have manners. Manners can take you further than just plain money and things from your dear ol' mummydaddy.

P/S: I wish I was there to witness it all. And probably take a picture of Robo in his heroic moment of glorious righteousness.

P/P/S: I wish I had written this myself. Kudos to you, Robo.

So here's Robo's story >>>---->

Reposted: bagai kacang lupakan kulit.. a story of how some Malays forgot their skin is 'sawo matang' and not putih...

today i met the absolute representation of the idiots that we should get rid off from this country if we are ever to even DREAM of reaching vision 2020...

i have been observing the people in Malaysia for the past months i been home, and i must say i am not liking what i see. through a myriad of factors intermingling together, including the economic prosperity enjoyed by the middle class and upper class society, many of them comprising of sons and daughters of govt officers (and i am not always proud to say, I myself is a member of this group) we have created a new class of people, who have appointed themselves and regarded themselves as the "elite" Malay group.. (note the inverted comma)

and these are the youth who walks along the street with a certain kind of swagger and pompous arrogance with their proud shirt with the humongous 'horse and number/roman numeral' emblem on their chest.. yes u know which brand of shirt i'm talking about.. ooh not forgetting their fancy rust dyed hair and their huge shades, and cargo pants. and usually they'll be walking in pairs proudly holding hands, gee i sure hope they are married, bulan puasa pon tak reti nak hormat? hmm...

today i met a group of these people, and they were rudely harassing a makcik at a stall at pasar ramadhan.. yes, granted it was hot, and there were a lot of people around the stall, for sure laa the makcik cannot layan everyone immediately.. but these group of people, who always think they are better than other Malays, by the virtue they can afford more stuff (paid by dad of course) apparently dah x tahan sgt nk kene tunggu lama were throwing rude and unneessary comments to the makcik... stupid arrogant people..

"haih makcik, kalau tak reti nak layan orang cepat2, baik jgn bukak gerai" said one of the skinny idiot, while holding the hands of his girlfriend, and this unnecessary comment was greeted by laughter from a few more youth, 3 boys and 2 girls, apparently they were all in the same group..

the makcik, displaying some hurt on her face teruslah melayan si kumpulan Melayu 'elite' ini.. and apparently got the order of these idiots wrong..

"makcik, i said two laa, two! T-W-O.. dua! D-U-A... dua! adoi.. dh laa lambat, x reti bahasa inggeris pulak tu rupanya, cakap 'sorry' pon td tergagap2.. haih, kan elok if science and math ajar in english, makcik ketinggalan zaman!" and the group laughed again..

i could see the makcik was very ashamed and offended, and suddenly i was offended, coz that couldve been my aunt, my grandma, my mother! Think about it, what if that happened to somebody in YOUR family...

so naturally, me with my recently discovered hot head and temper, decided to defend the makcik..

(this is an attempt to recreate the conversation as best to my memory as i could, pls be reminded that i was temporarily insane and blinded by rage, hehe)

"hoi, yang korang ni ingat korg mcm bagus nk mampus ni apahal? bley tolong relax tak kalau nak kutuk2 org pon, pahala puasa tu entah campak ke mana" i said with a stern voice, and oh yes it turned a few heads.. the group was stunned for a bit, then the idiot-leader had to reply..

"oi brader, ni bukan hal lu so baik u jgn masuk campur, kalau tak..."

"kalau tak apa brader, ko nak tampar aku? tumbuk aku? and aku plak tak kan laa nak biar laa ko kutuk makcik yg x bersalah ni lebih2?" yup, i was reeeealllly geting to be pissed off..

"eh bro, jgn cabar aku" said the idiot-leader while his gf was pulling him back asking him to stop, and the rest of the group konon2 nk tunjuk kuat closing in on me..

"1st thing 1st, aku bukan 'bro' ko, and 2ndly, tolong simpan jaguh2 kampung ko ni, mintak maap kat makcik ni.. yg ko mcm bagus kutuk2 makcik ni x reti bahas inggeris tu pehal? ko ingt english ko tu bagus sgt?" i was really pissed by now..

"eh yg ko berani nk marah2 aku ni pehal? ko ingt bapak aku ni org biasa?" the idiot leader replied.. gosh, they all look like they were about 18/19 years old.. arrogant 18/19 year olds who still turn to daddy in moment of need..

at that moment i knew that this was the group i was talking about, the self-appointed 'elite' Malays, the family where the mom and dad made good money, but forgot to teach proper manners to their offspring, and their offspring thought they were better than other Malays, esp those they regard as coming from the kampung.. just because daddy could afford to send them to private college doesnt make them better than the others!

"owhhh bapak ko bukan org biasa? habis dia apa? org minyak? org bunian?" i personally liked this line best, and judging from the laughter of the crowd behind me, so did they.. haha how did i come up with that in the heat of the moment i wonder myself..

"just because ko ni anak org yg ada kuasa, n tahu sepatah dua english, please please la jgn ingt ko tu lagi bgs dari makcik ni, or the rest of us ok? sedar sikit diri tu, manners gone down the bloody drain! urghhh u make soo mad! people like you just makes me sick! dah aku nyer pahala puasa pon dh ke mana ntah sebab aku dok menengking org2 mcm ko ni.. sila jgn perasan ko ni omputih dgn dressing ko n rambut dye laa, jam mahal laa" by now, there was a sizeable crowd against us..

for some reason, the idiots wre quiet, i guess they were shocked, and ashamed coz they know they did wrong.. and i overheard this from someone behind me..
"kalau kulit putih mcm abg baju hijau ni ok laa gak, ni kulit sama jek sawo matang mcm kitorg, tp perangai lebih2 dari omputih la plak" and yes, i was the one who he referred to as 'abg baju hijau'.. lol~

with his face red, and heavy breathing with a pissed off face, he walked off slowly as he was pulled by his gf and his group.. while a group was chanting "belah, belah, belah" to the group.. and as they left, the group clapped.. and the makcik thanked me for standing up to her, and i got some free kuih from her as a sign of her gratitude.. hehe.. thanx makcik!

but i did it not for the kuih, or for the attention, the praises.. i did it coz i cant stand this group of people, who think they are better than the rest of us! come back down to earth please~ and when i wrote this, i AM NOT targeting all polo shirt wearing hair dyeing tindik sana sini people, and also those who comes from a well-to-do family, i know that 99% of u are polite people who knows the boundaries of joking about, and are humble people with kind hearts.. but this 1%, you ppl are the bane of society, and bring shame upon other Malays.. i'm sorry if i offended anybody, but this entry is written with the purpose of reminding us all to be humble, and not to insult others.. your medical degree, tertiary education, overseas scholarship, all these do not make you better than other people, and all these mean NOTHING if you don't have manners, or basic respect for others..

do unto others how u wud expect to be done on urself, and respect begets respect..

p/s: sorry again for the negative tone of the entry.. :)
peace out~



Sunday, 6 September 2009


Professionals - a person engaged in one of the learned professions

When u talk about being professional, it means that a person becomes master of it. They have skills and knowledge in their respective fields compared to layman. There are loads of professional fields out there but i can give you the obvious answers such as accountants, lawyers, doctors, engineers and my own field - the architects.

By definition - A professional architect is someone who possesses the specialized knowledge and skills of a professional architect, which are acquired after a course of intensive study and a period of practical training.

however, when we design... it is often that a client disagree with what we do and come up with their own ideas - i am not going to write them down because it may turn out to be rather insulting than just a constructive criticism and plus, it would take me most probably another 2 hours to explain just that. but we design with reasons... rationals... not just because we like it. it is our job... it is our profession's responsibility to bring forth Malaysian architecture... not some photocopy of the Sultan Abdul Samad Building. we were trained through at least five years of school, to attain that acquired knowledge and skills. Our job is to advise clients but still clients ended up advising us what to do.

and the reason is... because they pay the fees.

but i wonder... for instance, like my fellow professional... let's say a doctor... whom the client pays and also gives advise on our health is not questioned about his job or his responsibility? Like if he gives you a paracetamol for a headache, does a client suggest to him otherwise?

Cesar Pelli did KLCC without anyone breathing on his neck. so i came to conclude that it is not easy to be a Malaysian architect... HA HA...

but i just can hope for a better tomorrow :)

Sunday, 30 August 2009


people who refers to the term - "Money isn't everything"- often thinks about money a lot... don't you think?

Well, in Malaysia... they want good qualities but cheap labour - consequences are the employees are basically overworked, considering we are paid low. i went to a young professionals seminar and they highlighted this... why do u think contractors hire indonesians or other immigrants from third world countries? because they come cheap... but can provide the same quality.

however, in Australia... to be in the construction industry - u need to have qualifications! yes... i'm saying people who lay bricks for their jobs need to have at least some sort of a certified diploma in bricklaying :P

just a thought... on this beautiful rainy sunday morning :) but let's all hope for a better tomorrow :D

Saturday, 29 August 2009

The Shawshank Redemption

I'm a movie buff. but there is one point in my movie-buff life that i ran out of ideas on what to watch (either i don't think the movie is intriguing enough or i've seen most of the movies). so i googled under 'the best movie ever' (cheesy, i know) because i want quick results. ImDB provided me with a list of top 250 movies as voted by their users.

and The Shawshank Redemption was at the top of the list.

although being the first or the second or the 250th, the number of votes does not dictate the rankings. i myself don't know why. but i scanned through the list and still find The Shawshank Redemption at the top of the list by having the most number of votes.

so i decided to get this movie to see what was so great about it.

i don't want to give any spoilers in case anyone wants to see it. i have added my vote that this is the best movie ever. i even think that this movie was inspired from Count of Monte Cristo and also prehaps, this movie inspired Prison Break :P or at least have some sort of a connection.

what i find in this movie rather fulfilling because of the morals it teaches - HOPE. How important it is to have dreams and ambitions... because it will help you imagine and fill yourself with desire and courage to achieve your dreams and ambitions. This is what Tim Robbins' character conveyed... however, Morgan Freeman's character did not believe in hope as he had in it in his mind that hope only drives people crazy.

i can relate to this movie because i've wanted to be an architect since i was 12. through high school, i studied art even though it was not required in the course i was in (sub-science). i even endured a year of pre-university course, which has nothing to do with architecture (only that it was an express ticket to architectural degree). In acquiring my first architectural degree, i hit a huge road bump. i failed to graduate on time. and came to a point where i believed hope is what made me felt pressured and drove me up the walls. but that didn't stop me from pursuing my second architectural degree. i was both Andy Dufresne and Ellis Boyd Redding in my architecture student lifetime :|

so hope... dreams... and ambitions is all it takes :) money will come later ;)

okay, now i ran out of ideas what to watch again... :((( well, let's hope for a better tomorrow :D

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Month of Ramadhan

first and foremost, pardon my 'french' in the previous blog. i was just so angry with hot rod for being so rude to my mother and that now being the month of Ramadhan, it is all about Iman... our strength of conviction. i was put to test that day and i didn't handle it well. my apologies.

yesterday, i had a discussion with a friend who is a catholic. although he claims he doesn't practice often but then there are muslims that are muslims but don't really practice Islam. the root of catholicism or any other religions are basically the same. they teach the very same values. i came to understand traditional catholics do fast during the lent, they were required to cover up and premarital sex was definitely a ticket to hell. i came to conclude that i find it very interesting to know that there are similarities between my religion and his.

what changed this tradition? i don't know. perhaps... globalization and modern thinking. people tend to believe in logic rather than conviction. or maybe the religious leaders back then changed it to suit the ever-changing needs of people or to suit his own personal need... or even simpler, maybe culture is mistaken as religion.

like i mentioned, all religions teach basically the same values. thus, i strongly believe that there is one God, Who creates us all.

Happy fasting and breaking fast to all Muslims


Monday, 24 August 2009

23 year-old Hot Rod vs 56 year-lady Lady and her son...

i wasn't actually there but when this happens to my family... i am as much angered as if i was there. the anger wasn't provoked by the accident or whose fault it was but it was simply triggered by horrible manners and utter disrespect by a 23 year old hot rod against my 56 year old mother and my 27 year old brother.

i am attaching this scenes just to prove that the guy was ridiculous! and how bloody rude he was to my mother. not only that it was his fault and he refused to accept it... but he was such an annoying smart mouth that thinks he's smarter than everybody. well, it was his puny brain and huge ego that got us into this mess in the first place.


my brother was driving, coming back from a friday prayer when he gave a signal to notify other vehicles that he is approaching left because he is about to enter our house.


the whole lane can accomodate two whole cars, which the hot rod's motorcycle could easily cruise by on the right... but this particular hot rod behind my brother's car chose to squeeze in the left. so he attempted an Evel Knievel stunt by speeding up hoping he would get through...


unfortunately... with the puny brain of his... BAM!!... he and his passenger ended up flying after the crash.

my neighbour heard the crash and ran out to help. but the hot rod was already starting to provoke my brother saying it was his fault. HELLO... u cannot be at the car's blind spot because the crash clearly showed that u were speeding and u must have had an ample distance to be able to make that damage to our car (our side mirror is shattered and broken, hanging lop-sided and the side of the door is dented) and not to mention your stupid bike and yourself n ur poor passenger. my neighbour happened to be a very stern old man and when he started to shout asking the both of them make a police report, the hot rod finally kept quiet.

so both of them went to make a police report, where the police also insisted that my brother was the one @ fault. the police officer said, u should approach more to the left so that there will be no space for the bike to go through. some people can be a real thick-heads... i mean how close can u get to the roadside so that the motorcycles will know that they can't go through? how close is close? anyway... whatever... because them police use motorcycles so they're on the hot rod's side for today. they decided to let own insurance pay the damage.

the hot rod was injured so he demanded (not in a nice way) that my brother took him to the hospital. by this time, my mother just came back. my bro told the hot rod that he had to call his parents and do that himself. however, the hot rod still holds my bro responsible. so my mother said, let's take him to the clinic. but she went in to park her car... and her knee wasn't that good, she walked slowly back out towards the gate... and what does the hot rod say,

"Bro... if possible, take me to hospital today or tomorrow... but i would prefer today la, bro"

so bloody rude... who do u think u are?! can't u see that we are doing u a favor?? and my mum has a busted knee! give her a break, a**hole!!

after the clinic, we sent him back to his motorcycle... before he departs, he told my brother and my mother (pointing with his finger) "you two... will answer to God!"

whatever, freak! You'll have to answer to God too, dumb a**!!!

Monday, 20 July 2009

Al-Fareeda is up and running!!!

visit this for a collection of swimwear for muslimah!

Sunday, 19 July 2009

PK lahhhh

my father has been the general manager of a small developer company for 20 or more years. it was about time he retires and let his jr staffs take over. this developer company is a part of the PKNS developers. so whatever the company decides, it has to answer back to PKNS.

but now, since Selangor is under a new government, there are a lot of political disputes. even down to the part of who shall be the next GM of my father's company...

my father suggested one of his staffs. he knew him for 20 years, the way he works and obviously that particular candidate knows he's way around that company. my father knows there's a no better candidate than this guy.

but now, since Selangor is under a new government, outsiders are trying to lobby for the post. when i say lobby, they are doing everything in their will to get it - even if it takes to do a little evil.

but they should understand that my father knows who is best to replace him. the board should consider his proposal. the company has brought so much profit - they should be able to trust my father's judgments.

and on last wednesday, i was fortunate to be able to present a project to my father's company in his last few days at the company. for more than 20 years of my father working there, i have never seen my father playing a role other than a father, brother, son... this is the first time i see him in a much more superior state. and of all the scare of how shitty clients can be when i was studying was definitely not displayed with this company. even my boss became long term friends with the company exco. they gave constructive comments that i find very helpful and also lifted my spirits to design better.

it was a significant day for me - my first meeting with client and my father's last day as a client.

Thursday, 2 July 2009


hey this is my second post in a day. i was fasting today so i had to refrain myself from cursing and channeling out my anger until i break fast. now... the time has come...

I was on a mission on getting planning guidelines in Klang. This is my company's first project in Klang so we had very little idea what to do except finding the planning guidelines (different areas usually have different guidelines). so I embark on a journey of massive traffic jams, scorching heat and ended up getting lost. I missed a junction towards the town council and had to make a huge detour just to turn back. i would not have missed it if the signage is consistent. up to one extend, the direction to the town council was gone!

At the HQ, i was told planning department had moved! so i had to drive to the planning department to get the planning guidelines. when i requested it, they gave me their copy of the book and i asked if they sell it. it's the planning department! shouldn't they have planning guidelines with them?

but no... apparently Malaysians like to twist things a little. i was directed to the Town and Country Planning Department (don't know if i translated it correctly - Jabatan Perancangan Bandar dan Desa) in Shah Alam! Okay fine... i can go on the way back to KL. Then, since i am at the planning department, i thought i'd ask for submission forms for development order. it's the planning department! shouldn't they have the forms with them?

but no... it was at the OSC, which is at the HQ! well, yeah... usually forms are at the OSC but if you have one department five-minute drive away from the HQ, u ought to keep a set of forms in your department to avoid hassle.

okay, got my forms! off to Shah Alam... i'm not equipped with GPS so i decided to gamble and i got lost. i called my office mates, they were all weren't around. i didn't want to bother my boss so i called a friend, who is a resident there, for directions. After 1 hour of roaming around, i finally found it.

i rushed straight to the 15th floor. requested from this lady the planning guideline, she said that is on the 16th floor. fine... ran up to floor 16, requested for the book again from the lady at the counter. and she said it's on the 18th floor! hmmm... ok, i ran up to 18th floor and asked the guy at the counter, "Do u have the planning guideline?"

"Oh, you can go www.jpbdselangor.gov.my to get it"

At the time, it seemed like i was going, "......." but inside i was screaming, "ARGHHHH!!! #^%$#%%@#!!!!"

so... lesson of the day... when you had a core subject course named "Professional Study" for B.Sc. in Architecture, please pay a little bit of attention and never skip class :P

second lesson, don't put on high heels to go to authority. they make you run around... it's best to put on some cute olivias :D

Maid in Malaysia

The rationale behind the blog title will be revealed after you read this post.

My mom has a maid. The reason why my mom hires a maid because my mom needs help in running the household. There used to be seven people to look after (not including herself), with a huge house of 6 bedrooms, a living, a dining, a family, a dry/wet kitchen, a porch, a terrace and fifty sq meter of lawn, my mom just couldn't manage the house on her own. Hence, she hired a maid to help her.

The first foreign maid was when i was about seven or eight years old. she had come to our house as her previous employer allegedly abused her. we helped her and take her into our home and treat her as if one of our own. but as years passed, you slowly see the true colours. i remembered how bad-tempered she was, although she never did anything physical to us but i remembered the words and the tones she used with us when she's angry (of course behind our parents)... all hell broke loose, i tell u... but we were too young and too stupid to understand and not complain to our parents. but slowly, my mom saw it for herself. she was let go...

and we hired her niece next. she was only fifteen when she was hired. and she was at the age of raging hormones! i have to acknowledge that she stayed with us the longest and the best and most cooperative one we ever had. my mom even considered her as her own daughter. but when she got older, she decided to get married and start a family of her own. so we had to let her go...

the next maid we hired is through an agent. her documents said that she was 36 and married. so my mom thought, ok... married... no raging hormonal teenagers... and 36 so she probably know how to run a household :) so when she arrived, she hunched as she got out of the car... like an old lady! apparently, she wasn't 36 as mentioned in the papers... she was easily 50 something. hence, there are somethings that she couldn't do and also, due to she being older than my mom... she kind of has her own mind that really annoys my mom. after 4 years, she was let go...

our current maid is young, fresh and fast. although she doesn't really know how to cook but her skills in cleaning compensates her weakness. my mom bonded well with her as the rest of us. we welcomed her with open arms... until when she opens her mouth... i am not only trying to badmouth these people who has helped my mom but hers by far is the most intolerable.

not only does she talks loud, she gloats about how her mother's employer was so nice to her mother as if we are not being nice enough. as if we have not treat her well enough. she boasts about her life and i'm not saying i hate it just because she's a maid. the fact that anyone boasts just irritates me. she likes the fact that we beg her to come follow us on our picnics, our family dinner or just stay with us a little longer. but our family does not work that way. and when we don't plead or show some sort of desperateness of wanting her presence, she'd go off to her room and stay there, only coming out when we were upstairs.

just today, she tested me and my mom by saying, 'in a few months, i'll be gone'(in indonesian of course). but she already said that like a million times over, as if waiting for us to say, 'ohhh... please stay... don't go...'. but instead, we all rolled our eyes and silenced. my mom even asked, 'have you decided?'... apparently, she is still 'bingung' (confused and undecided).

we never scolded any of our maids or even raise our voice because we respect them as we respect any other human beings. she, as well as the next maid knows how bad other employers can treat their maids. it is all evident in the papers...

employers are the villains?? but maids aren't that angelic too...

Sunday, 28 June 2009


Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

taken from the album, Wreck of the Day and Grey's Anatomy OST.

If you feel like you've made a mistake, or feel like you're failing...

... just breathe ...

Thursday, 25 June 2009

Jane Austen and Her Legacy

The first jane austen book i ever bought was Emma... I've only gone through a few pages and that was it. I couldn't understand a single sentence without reading it several times all over. When i saw in the Astro program that they were showing Emma. I wasn't sure if it was the book adaptation. Apparently it is - eversince 1996, starring Gwyneth Paltrow. So i decided to rely on the movie instead :P

Emma wasn't the first movie I saw of Jane Austen's work. I've heard of her books every once in a while. Her famous 'Pride and Prejudice'. When the book was to be made into a movie, i quickly jumped at the chance to watch.

and i officially became a huge fan of jane austen afterwards.

After Emma, i came to see Sense & Sensibility and to which all three i fell in love with. Not just the storyline but the whole setting of late 18th century - the literature, culture and fashion and customs! They were so... proper :P

I saw Becoming Jane - an autobiography movie of the late Ms. Austen. And i immediately understood where she got her inspirations from. I thinks she places herself in her books that had happy endings that she could not have.

Later, i decided to dig in further if there are more adaptations of her book since my lack of English literature comprehension prevented me from reading her excellent books. I found out there was another movie just recently made... even more recent than Pride and Prejudice that starred Kiera Knightley.


It wasn't widely publicized as it was only aired in British television network. However, i find this movie/ book is my favourite before Pride and Prejudice and Emma.

There was this one part in the movie which i liked best - which is the letter that Captain Wentworth wrote to Anne Elliot.

Dear Ms. Elliot,
I can bear this no longer. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years ago. I have loved none but you. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone I think and plan. - Have you not seen this? I can hardly write. I must go, uncertain of my fate. A word, a look will be enough to decide. Tell me not that I am too late that such precious feelings are gone forever.

But in the book has perhaps a longer version of the letter. Back then, rather than finding love, the culture is to marry well. Perhaps that was what jane austen wanted... both love and marry well.

and which she has all successfully conveyed through her books - her legacy.

Tuesday, 26 May 2009


I recently retreated to island of Redang in Terengganu. The ride to Terengganu was terrible. Just the day before, there was a headline about a bus express accident, 2 dead and 7 severely injured. What worries me even more, it was the same consortium that we hired and also it happened en-route to Terengganu, which is where we are heading. Plus it was a red-eye ride...

But if death is coming then it's coming. It's not like Final Destination, where you can foresee these things. I believe in fate - if it is my time... then it's my time, regardless of where it is.

Despite sitting at the front top deck and the fright of the double-decker bus overtaking other vehicles, the bus was shaking a lot so i couldn't sleep anyway. When we arrived, we were bugged by a persistent driver, we missed the 7am bus to the jetty, sat in a beat-up car with no a/c, seatbelts and it was raining.

In conclusion, it was one hell of a ride for us... Maybe for me, the least :P

The moment we arrived on the island, it was breathtaking... there was a gradient of blue. As the ocean goes deeper, the darker the blue is. At the beach, the water is so clear, you can see fish swimming underneath it. yadda yadda yadda... all those things that perhaps Tioman or even the Caribbean has better...

What amazes me is the culture and the life of the people who lives there. A beach boy probably earns little but his job is so rewarding. It is most rewarding when you get to experience the nature God created everyday and which no man can duplicate.
We talk of whose car is faster and whose house is fancier but these islanders are different. Instead of comparing which resort has the highest rating, they'd compare how much of relaxation and nature they could provide. You can stay at 5 star hotel and yet still visit the same places as the people who are staying in at unrated hotels. if the islanders would have gone through what i have experienced in getting there, they probably would not have complained... :P

view from mutiara beach resort, where i stayed (food is great, beach is private, cleanliness is superb, chalet is good)

And it also lead me to thinking, how much i wish if there is a world without money and luxury. A world, where we all can sit in our rags, catch fish to eat, wash up in the sea or river, sleep under a hut with no walls or windows, no air conditioning. no vehicles needed, no fuel needed... we will just depend on what nature gives. and with all that, i imagined there would definitely be no stress, no debts, no crimes... and i was blessed to have experience a true utopia in Redang even for just 3 days and 2 nights...

Friday, 15 May 2009

May Mayhem!

most of my family members are born in may. I was born on the 2nd, my late granpa was on th 7th, my older sis on 12th and my aunt on 16th. usually, we would just pick any date in may and celebrate all those who was born in the month of may.

and now, there is a new addition to the family and the may mayhem - a baby boy was born on may 14th.

he is named amer zafran bin furhan.

amer felt like a stranger that fell onto our laps :P maybe because he was the third grandchild. we were all used to the commotion of the labour day. but it wasn't only just that. amer sat in his mother's womb... when i say 'sat', i mean he literally is sitting! and addition to that, he constantly lean on one side of his mother's womb causing my poor sister's skin to stretch the furthest it could. amer never kicked while he was in the womb (perhaps due to his fetal position) so there was never any sort of interaction going on from inside the womb to the outside.

amer was like a mystery to us... so when he came... it was like, 'ahhh, there you are...'

Friday, 10 April 2009

Back from the Brink!

back from the dead... back from hiatus... upon writing this, my final design thesis ended just 8 hours ago.

before that point, i hadn't thought that this would be my last verbal presentation at school or the last time i'd spent rm500++ for my boards... i was more concerned about convincing the lecturers and external critics about my scheme.

last semester i was probably one of the 'under average' students and had a bad presentation that led me thinking that i wasn't going to make it into second semester. but i did... with the minimum grade to pass :P

in second semester i still hit huge bumps along the road... it was not a straight road for me like it seemed with others. i had breakdowns... rather discreetly... until one point during one of the studio pin-ups, i (or my classmates/lecturers and i ) had the most memorable and embarrassing experience, which was breaking down in front of all 4 lecturers and at least 15 students. i did not let out small sobs... i actually hyper ventilated!! so embarrassing...

mind you, that was the first time i ever cried during presentation in my SIX years of studying architecture ok??? that's like 6 times at least 100 presentations a year! u do the math!

although embarrassing, i'm glad that it happened. it was like back from the brink. i learned a lot from that crit and it was a turning point. not just in terms of design... but in terms of confidence, self-esteem and passion. i think from that point onwards, i knew how to make my design thesis more interesting, convincing and believable. it was an agonizing 5 weeks for me... when people did their thesis in 35 weeks, i was doing in 5 weeks. it was up to a point where i isolated myself from my close friends. i specifically said, i'm quarantining myself or i'm in a confinement period so that they won't be asking me for usual hang outs a lot. i think that helped in focusing in my work better :) i worked hard to get here... but not without the help of my teachers :,)

size: 5.046m x 1.782m

the scheme could be better. i think my perspectives helped to sell my ideas. i hate the location of my presentation. the place was actually a walkway to get to other panels so when it was my turn, i sort of caused a jam that led to accumulate audience. which was good by the way. the down side is that - there wasn't enough distance for the lecturers to see my boards as a whole and also my models on the sides. they didn't even admire my model :((( which took me a week to do...

at one point of the presentation, one of my teachers was trying to get through but couldn't without interrupting the presentation and what he did was, while walking low, he said, "don't you just love it?" hahaha... and one of the architects thought i hired him to say that :P

no matter the outcome... or grade... i think i've learned a lot and improved a lot for the past year. besides growing a couple of zits, i gained new friends alongside bonding better with the friends i already have.

that's what matters most.

errr, no... not really... :P i want to graduate too... :P
3 friggin days

3 friggin different days than above

presentation board: rm 540
model: rm70+ and counting
back from the brink: priceless...

Thursday, 5 February 2009

on hiatus~

the title says it all... until april anyways :)

as if i have avid readers...

til april... good morning, good evening n good night!

Friday, 9 January 2009


it has been a while... i know. i'd say i don't have the time but that would be bullshit . i'd say my internet n phone line was down but that only happens most of the time.

so i'd say some of the time when my internet was up, i didn't have the time... nor the inspiration to write.

i'd say i'm glad to be here because i live in a peaceful country despite the recession, political disputes that kept on rising until it bore us out of our wits! but i'd also say that i'm not...

as we all laughed and celebrated the passing of 2008 on the New Year's eve, our brothers in Islam were screaming... mourning... over, not the passing of 2008, but over the passing of their loved ones. this... so-called... war over terrorists is just a cliche that has been used over and over again by the countries with greater power. i may not see eye to eye with certain people but if innocent civilians and children are categorized as terrorists and deserved to be murdered without mercy during the course of this war, i'd be more than happy to shut up.

but anyway, define terrorist? a man's hero may be another man's terrorist.

so from what most of the world is seeing is that there is some sort of a hidden propaganda.

i don't want to just say that i'm outraged and i want to do something about it than just sign petitions and send my prayers... to our brothers in Islam...