i.am.legend.

saw a dorothy perkins top...
cost rm89... thought once... twice... thrice...
then walked out...
empty handed...

saw 'i am legend'
poor sam... whom i thought was a male the whole time! (oops... bloopers!)
then left for home...

friends are hard to find...
but u may find them @ unlikely places...

thanks k.umy, adelin & dian for a fun afternoon.

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Kak Arfie!

2nd December 2007~

i'm off to singapore this sunday, folks! thought of doing some shopping there but i was defeated by the mega/xmas sale here... three days in a row marathon! with 3 different people...

i gave away my old clothes to the flood victims. well if my maid dont beat them to it. haha... hopefully, the situation gets better for all for raya haji!

peace out~!

Cuti-cuti Malaysia

Chiang Mai ___.

Ok, fine... i didnt actually go on holiday in Msia.

I LOVE travelling but i loathe flying. but i dont deny the beauty of gliding between layers of clouds. above the horizon, the clouds appeared like cotton candies... like u could bounce from one to another. however, when the plane flies through the thickness of the clouds, u find yourself temporarily lost - curious but yet nervous.

Chiang Mai's weather was average 20deg Celcius and that was already unbearable cool for me. initially, the trip was organized for my dad's golf group but somehow each member brought their families. most of the places we visit, our dads were absent. found better entertainment in puttings rather than shopping. nevertheless, mothers were still happy accompanied by the presence of credit cards and Thai bahts...

The hotel we're staying in is called Centara Duang Tawan. it doesnt have the most spectacular view but since you're only there just to sleep in, i guess it's quite okay. i'm always amused by products, which i'm familiar with, in other languages. like thai for instance. so i was rummaging through the snack bar in the room and i saw this small packaging, which i thought were raisins and as i pick it up, it read 'durex'. i laughed my head off. it's funny that the business is legal there but i didnt know they emphasize on the 'safe sex' campaign. well, of course, i put the package back to where it was.

it's best that you visit chiang mai around november or sometime during the full-moon. because they have a full moon festival called the loy krathong. the day when we arrived happened to be that day of celebration but they were still preparing for it. as the night comes, u can see the lights all over the streets and even up in the sky. they lit up this lantern and we make a wish and release it to the sky. the lantern is some sort like a hot-air balloon. so they have hundreds of them in the sky. they look like yellow stars, drifting lazily across. and also, they are fireworks and firecrackers everywhere.

we did more shopping than visiting. there's a night market located very nearby. the market opens everyday from 6pm to 2am! and it stretches out as far as the street goes. and i've never seen so many tourists from so many different countries at one place and everyone was so friendly. we visited the elephant farm, which i find rather amusing since i think it's something that you cant find in other countries. i rode one and i was strapped to seat on it and i still couldnt balance but the trainer was just sitting on its head, without any help from harnesses, only with the support of his knee and the elephant's ears. the elephant show was amazing. it's a must-go.

as much as i love chiang mai and travelling, as the plane descended, i realized i underestimate my own country.

there's no place like home :)))

i took this picture :D that's why i aint in it. got a huge compliment from a nice british lady ;DDD

yum!!!!

TOODLES!!!

Haih... bertunang dah kawan aku ni...

Kawanku dulu rambut pendek ala tomboy

Kawanku tak lama dulu lompat2 atas katil ngan aku

Kawanku kini hidupnya hampir sempurna... Masya Allah :))))) Syukur kepada Allah atas rezeki-Nya...

Semoga jodoh berkekalan sehingga akhir hayat... amin

James Morrison - The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore,
Pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Raya @ TTDI

friends since pre-teen, mid-teen, post-teen ;)

in between blues, eh aishah?

if i had worn high heels, i'll be equal ;)

SUGE!!!

Dimaklumkan bahawa 5 orang penyelidikUniversiti Malaya telah menyertai pameran British Invention Show 2007(BIS) yang diadakan di AlexandraPalace, Wood Green, London, pada 17 -20 Oktober 2007. Rombongan penyelidikUniver siti Malaya ini telah diketuai oleh Prof. Madya Dr. Mohd Sahar Yahya selaku Ketua Unit PerkembanganPenyelidikan (UPPP)Hasil daripada penyertaan pertandingan reka cipta tersebut, penyelidikUniversiti Malaya telah berjaya meraih10 anugerah.

Lebih gemilang lagi, penyelidik kita iaitu Encik Asrul Mahjuddin Ressang Aminuddin dari Fakulti Alam Bina telah berjaya meraih anugerah tertinggi yang ditawarkan di BIS 2007 iaitu Diamond (Special Awardfor Earth Science) menerusi projek penyelidikan beliau bertajuk SandwichBrick - Sustainable Construction. Penyelidik bersama bagi projektersebut adalah Prof. Madya Sreenivasaiah Purushothama Rao. Projek tersebut turut memenagi anugerah Gold. Selain itu, Dr. Mohd Hamdi Abd Shukordari Fakulti Kejuruteraan juga telah meraih anugerah Double Gold (SpecialAward for Industry) menerusi projek penyelidik an beliau bersama Dr. S.Ramesh, Tan Chou Yong & Iis Sopyan yang bertajuk Development of High Toughness Synthetic Bioceramic for Bone ImplantTechnology. Disamping itu, projek penyelidikan tersebut turut memenagi anugerah Gold. Senarai penuh anugerah yang dimenangi oleh Universiti Malaya adalah seperti berikut

Diamond (Special Award for EarthScience)
Projek Penyelidikan: Sandwich Brick -Sustainable Construction
Ketua Penyelidik: Asrul Mahjuddin Ressang Aminuddin (Fakulti Alam Bina)
Penyelidik Bersama: Prof. Madya Sreenivasaiah Purushothama Rao


GoldProjek
Penyelidikan: Sandwich Brick -Sustainable Construction
Ketua Penyelidik: Asrul MahjuddinRessang Aminuddin (Fakulti Alam Bina)
Penyelidik Bersama: Prof. Madya Sreenivasaih Purushothama Rao

Dan lain-lain...
cuma yg nak dikatakan di sini... sepanjang 4 tahun aku belajar ngn SP Rao... baru aku tahu name penuh dia... terharu sekejap ngn penemuan ni... isk isk...

A Degree Holder Finally!

goodbye, Bachelor Sc in Architecture a.k.a. Architecture part 1

hello, Bachelor of Architecture a.k.a. Architecture part 2

Selamat Hari Raya!!!

first and foremost, i'd like to wish everyone a very Happy Hari Raya! Sorry zahir and batin... i know i promised the bali pix but i'm a bit lazy to reduce the size of it. besides there's not many good pics because i went with my office mates, which i'm not as close to (in comparison to my frens) plus, they're not that into the crazy photography as i do. also, we did not visit that many historic landscapes. we did a lot of shopping, visiting hotels... and spa... wow... the rm150 i paid was really worth it ;) i should recommend ramayana hotel in kuta for anyone staying in bali! it's beautiful... and cheap i suppose. there's not any nice view though because of the tall buildings next to it but, it's very very very near to the beach. i also got a bali name - nyoman awin lasmini. nyoman means ur the third child of the family (1st child = wayan, yeah sounds like Damon, Marlon, Shawn Wayans are from Bali... haha... 2nd child = made, pronounce as Muh-day... 3rd child = nyoman and 4th is ketut... yeah i pity the 4th one) ok... but the 'lasmini', i'm not sure what it means, i shouldve asked though. but somehow i thought that the lady who gave me my name knew that i'm a 'last minute' person??? anyway, here's the bali pic i took in jimbaran. beautiful... oh and another place i'd recommend... eat in jimbaran! gorgeous!!!

but when i was in cambodia. we took a lot of crazy and beautiful photographs. most of them i edit using photoshop though. there are muslims in cambodia and they even speak MALAY!!! too bad we only discovered it during our last day but having to eat meat and chicken after 4 days of maggies and veggies... we were all thanking God after each bite. hahaha... so when any of u going to cambodia soon, u should ask the 'tuk-tuk' driver to take u to a 'muslim village'. although not all would want because the road is terrible! but cambodia, being just freshly out of war, it has beautiful historic landscape. well, in siem reap anyway. the angkor wat is simply breath-taking. definitely a must-see! other than that is shopping! where else can u get a t-shirt for 1 USD??? which is like 3 ringgit! i enjoyed shopping, lotsa cheap stuffs there but it's annoying as well because most of the time, a friend gets cheaper than u did... so... ugh! anyway, here are the pix. enjoy...

my new school mates :) or competitors!

well, it's the first time exploring a new tripod (gorilla pod) but it turned out okay anyway :)

me and the lost boys - the school boys of Krabei Riel School
in angkor wat...
one of the best pics taken (thanks to ammy!)
tagline was taken from reebok shoe commercial. and again pic was taken by ammy!

this is ammy again... she's so good @ taking pictures of people's backsides!

Guess what??

as i was filling a form to apply for the campus car sticker... i noticed there was something odd about the date stated on my driving license...

later, i noticed there wasn't a mistake... the date was correct.

i have been driving with an expired driving license for the past FIVE MONTHS!!!

is that a record or what???

+ TRips + (continued)

hello kwn2...

seperti mana yg dijanjikan... sy akan post kan al-kisah sy sejak 22hb jun sehingga ke 4 julai...

22nd June- 24th june went for the 1st PAM architectural Camp in IIUM. lead the UM performance for the 3rd running year and guess wut? we won 3rd prize... anyway, i misplaced the trophy. sux eh? anyway, had fun nevertheless... i was perhaps the eldest participant in the camp. if not by age... then by year of study... taiko eh... haha.

>>>------> memories stilled in photographs

Usop n Rahmad buat aksi... xtaula... paklahh kate dia ternmpk diorg 'buat something' kt bilik... Astaghfirullah...

aku dgn jr2 pompuan ku...

29 june - 1st july representing UM among the members of Uniten. I joined MSSA competition. i was approached by awan, faiza's boo... he is an engineering student in Uniten. there were 3 more engineers from Uniten, who was interested to join but they didnt haf an architect so they hired me. so since february, we've been working on this thing. n we made it into the top10 (refer to my prev blogs). so these top10 finalists go into a final duel in langkawi @ kg tok senik resort. well... we lost but had fun anyways... crazy fun. we went for cable car right after the results came out but then we were 5 mins late. the counter closed @ 7pm... we were even more stressed out. things CAN get a little worse... so we went to telaga harbor park n took crazy pix (still to get em from awan, barak n shu's cams). then we went back to the chalet n karaoke'd until 12am... crazy. i think we finished a whole CD. haha... 1st thing in the morning next day, we went for cable car. n then to beras terbakar to makam mahsuri to the Helang (ape ntah... da lupe)... we took crazy pix there as well... did shopping... mainly chocolates. barak borong rokok je... pastu nk buatkan i rs bersalah la sbb tak belikan my nephew anything. takpe... i still haf cambodia n bali. hahah... anyway, these are the memories frozen in photographs...

masa presentation... hebat la...!

pushing awan over the limits ( i tak pegang perut dia ek.. serious!)

merenung mase depan (konon!)

team mssa (uniten engineers + um architect)

2-3 days later after coming home. i entered another competition by Ecocare-MNS to design an Ecocentre @ Kerteh, Tganu. so we went for a site visit on 4th of july n we came back on the same day. tiring as hell... we took a ride in a van drove by our lecturer's driver. he drove like MAD!! i tell u! i was seriously afraid of crashing but i couldnt keep my eyes of the road bcos i wanted to be prepare if crash was too happen. anyway, everytime i do, nothing happened. only a feeling of relieved that i get to live another minute/day... haha. the driver goes from 0-160km/h in less than 5 seconds... maklumlaaa... mercedes kan... tp kitorg mmg kekejangan otot ketakutan... tp driver wat dekkk jer... jahat betul! anyway, gambar tak upload lg... esok2 la...

nampak nyer sampai di sini sahaje buat mase ni... esok sy sambung. psl saye jd fasi kt kekkwa plak ek? ok peace out!

Back From Langkawi

haih... ponat...

nk cite... tp tak larat...

esok jelahhh...

nantikan...

cite best... berserta gambar2 bodoh yg best...

peace out...

+ TRips +

(29jun-1july) aku ke langkawi utk memperjuangkan name UM - sori dak2 Uniten... sape nk kopok ikan bilis pedas, cokolat murah, lekas bitau...

(5july-7july) aku akan mengikuti rombongan budak2 kampung meronda KL... aku tak penah ronda KL utk suke2... sbb aku tak suke KL...

(12july-16july) aku akan ke cambodia utk lawatan sambil belajar... kan ku bawa buah tgn utk teman2 rapatku... sape yg nk buah tgn dr aku, cepat buat baik ngn aku... masih ade waktu...

(19july-22july) aku akan ke bali pule... masih belum terlambat utk buat baik ngn aku...

++++++++ ape lagi??? buat ah baik ngn aku... ++++++++++++++++

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

from one weekend to another...
i'm going away from home...
missing my bed miserably...
first time in my life; im going in and out of a jet plane...
don't know how celebrities put up with it...
i dread flying...

but i love travelling...

i will come back
with better knowledge and understanding
perhaps, respect...
of one's culture and God's creations
with that, i shall make a better tomorrow...

At Last...

After 3 years of handling performance representing UM for archi workshop...

we finally won something...

tho 3rd place...

it was valuable experience nevertheless...

arqui Ethos...

lost item

merintih dlm BM sedap sket...

aku kehilangan bateri extra canon ixus 60 ciplak berharga rm60 di bangunan sultan abd samad. tulahhh, aritu aku ngn amy menggedik2 kt bangunan tu. kitorg amik gambar kt kandang pesalah, berlakun mcm penjenayah kt mahkamah. main2 mic kt situ. amik gambar corridor, amy plak berlakun jd hantu kt situ... mase tu la bateri tu dah kong, aku gi tukar, pastu tak terus masuk bag... letak kt riba. bila dah habis menggedik2, aku terus bangun. tak sedar plak bateri tu tergolek. pastu amik gambar lg kt menara dia sebelum balik. dekat pukul 9 mlm kut, aku nk charge bateri tu... carik2 dah tade... waaa sedey... igt nk pegi sane blk carik... tp aku rs dah takde...

sejurus selepas amik gambar ni la, bateri aku hilang... sadissss...

pengajaran: jgn tergedik2 kt bgnan sultan abd samad... kan dah hilang bateri camera

it's about time...

@ 23 years and 22 days, im
- graduating from first degree, which supposed to be last year
- continuing study for the next two years (i hope!) if not, then three years.
in the mean time, i am...
- coaching first years on their measured drwgs (if i am much of a help)
- a free-lance draftwoman for an architect with COD payment
so i can
- support myself and not depend on my parents since i am TWENTY-THREE already!
- make new friends and bridge the gap between senior and juniors and also the gap between a student and a lecturer (deep eh?)
but sometime in july,
- im continuing for my Bachelor in Architecture (and finish it in 2 years!)
- get my act together and hope my family and friends support me all the way

no more delays, please... because @ 23, and perhaps the only one among my friends, who isnt standing on her own two feet... it's about time.

In Vain...

i woke up last sunday 8th april @ 12pm and headed straight to studio to finish my work for my portfolio review. we were suppose to submit it on the 10th for our lecturers' assessments. after finish ammending my drawings, i opened my photoshop tuesday morning (the day we were supposed to submit). it was 5 am... and then the moment i tried to open my drawing in photoshop, the computer got stuck that i had to restart. then the same thing happened again whenever i tried to use the photoshop. after some 10 reboots, i got fed-up and decided that i should just submit in black and white first and thought that i'd pin the coloured ones after the assessment.
so from sunday to tuesday, i only managed a 1hr nap twice. that tuesday night, i could stay home and get the rest i need but then, i need to use someone else's computer that night. so that night, i knew that most of the students would probably be sleeping so i took that opportunity to borrow my friend's computer for the night to colour my drawings in photoshop. her computer has a 2gb ram that when i want to save a 100mb photoshop file, i haven't even start to blink, it already finished saving. so i did my work up to 3am. i slept by 4am until 12pm the next day.
the very next day, new project starts. this project was a group work. the submission was due friday. and i was in charge of the presentation board. and i also had my part to do the research on. also, on that day, i had to go to my old office to print my individual presentation boards. i did my work as far as i could manage and at 6pm i left for my office. by the time i was done, it was already 9pm. so i went back to the studio and finished up my group work.
i didn't sleep up to thursday. only a few 30-min naps. and today was the portfolio review. it's actually like an exam for us with all the lecturers from architecture department assessing our individual works. this is when the descision whether you fail or not is made. usually with my effort, i would get a pass... but since the Lembaga Akitek Malaysia is coming for accreditation so my effort, just like how my last batch did, is not enough. they had to be strict this year because our faculty needed to maintain that accreditation. it is very important for us. no accreditation means no part2 and that means no architect. so we all got a scold from all the lecturers saying that our work is not enough to earn that accreditation...
somehow, i felt... despite my lack of sleeping and resting... despite my endless efforts... i felt that my efforts was in vain... everytime i try to work and forget the past, i just simply can't stop thinking about how much efforts i've put into my work and i get no credits out of it. at one moment, i felt like giving up. i felt like taking a break for a few years before coming back for 4th year (that if i graduate). all through my 4 years here... i've lived with uncertainty. there are no right or wrong, black or white in architecture. they're all very subjective... and i'm not doing it for the heck for doing it. i'm doing it because i'm living my passion but somehow i think my lecturers are making a hell out of it... sometimes they made me wonder to the point where i don't know what i want anymore. they're lecturers, for heaven's sake! aren't they suppose to encourage students? not discourage or demotivates them?
i don't know what i or other students, who felt the same, should do... right now, i just so so wish i would make it through. if i flunk this again... then i really don't know what will become of me... just a few months ago it was all clear to me... gosh, how i wish i could still see as clearly now. i've never been so worried about my future so much and yet, i'm writing a blog. i guess there's a bit of contradiction but like i said in my first blog, when i have to let it out, i have to let it out! just a little advice...

know what you want and go for it! despite whether it's in vain or not, it's a different story... the most important thing is that you do your best.

i wish i could force myself to say that from the heart :\

i don't love you

When you go

Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay

And maybe when you get back

I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe

You're still, the good-for-nothing I don't know

So take your gloves and get out

Better get out

While you can

When you go

Would you even turn to say

"I don't love you

Like I didYesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading

So sick and tired of all the needless beating

But baby when they knock you

Down and out

It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe

Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up

Better get up

While you can

Whoa, whooa

When you go

Would you even turn to say

"I don't love you

Like I didYesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go

Would you have the guts to say

"I don't love you

Like I loved youYesterday"

I don't love you

Like I loved you

Yesterday

I don't love youLike

I loved you

Yesterday

it's my current favourite song. eventhough it doesn't sound very romantic or very gentlemanly of gerard if he did what he sang. but the song brings a meaning that you might think that special someone is your life companion... the one that steals your heart... the only one that you will love and cherish... in sickness, in health... for better or worse... for richer or poorer... may not be the same person the next morning...

today

>>>--begin-->

model in the making...

venue: 3rd yr studio, built environment faculty
time: 430am

ZZzzzZzz... huh??... ZzzZzzzz... krohhh~...

venue: residence, ss3
time: between 5 am to 7 am to 130pm

~SaLute KiNG KoNG!
new faculty of built environment
proposed by too kean kong

venue: exhibition hall, built environment faculty

time: 330pm

R0ad Trip!

discovered an inconvenient truth...
venue: somewhere in selangor
time: 430pm to 700pm

BBQ~ ArCHi NiTe...

venue: back in the old faculty of built environment

time: 830pm

today = priceless

but let's hope for a better tomorrow

<--END---<<<

astaka + MSSA competition

i joined astaka competition about more than a year ago. but i just had to blog this down. in this competition, there is the preliminary round where there were supposed to be hundreds of submission but that year (2005), with no representatives from UiTM so they were only 50 competitors. my school, UM school of architecture sent 3 group representatives. for those who don't know what astaka is, it's a stage where people held the annual 'Tilawah Al-Quran' competition. every year JKR (Jabatan Kerja Raya) hold this astaka design competition so they'd use the winning design as the official astaka for the Quran recital competition.

we were told only one week before the submission. we did the design n model all within the week. it was so chaotic that it even crossed my mind to forfeit. luckily we didn't. we had problems with the 3rd member n then appointed Soon Yau, who has the greatest magnificent workmanship in the whole world, to do our model. and the submission day was nerve-wrecking, all the designs were terrific n brilliant with superb craftmanship on the models. i presented to 2 judges but wasn't sure if we would get chosen for top10. then the next day was the official day for the submission, presented to a lot of people but i lost count. most of them werent judges though. my mother n my 9-month pregnant sister actually came! as i said, i was glad we didn't forfeit because when the announcement was made, ours were announced in the 2nd last. so we made it. n i was happy... all that lack of sleep and hard work completely paid off. but unfortunately we lost in the 2nd round. i guess the judges didn't want anything too unconventional or contemporary like ours. anyway, lots of other architects and managements complimented on our design. we didn't make it to top5. but overall, i was satisfied with how my team worked together and made it through a tough moment and then beating 49 other competitors to make it to the top10.

currently i'm joining this biotech centre competition organized by Malaysian Steel Structural Association (MSSA). i did the design and presentation board in less than a week. i was pretty stressed out because the submission was so close to my final submission. but somehow i managed to pull it off and submit both on time. i was pretty sure we wouldn't get through to the top10 for the MSSA competition but just last week, a friend, a teammate rang me up and told me that we made it to the top10 out of 70 submissions. it was shocking because i really didn't give my all for the design. so there you have it... i'm proud that i made at least to top10's for both competitions. Not to flatter myself but it makes me wonder how i could flunk my final semester when i've been reaching top10's for design competitions. hmm... hmmm...

You Know You're In Architecture When...

i think more than half what is written down here is true about me... sad, huh?

01.the alarm clock tells you when to go to sleep.

02.youre not ashamed of drooling in studio/class anymore, especially in the Structure lectures.

03.you know what UHU tastes like.

04.you CELEBRATE space and OBSERVE your birthday.

05.coffee and cokes are tools, not treats.

06.people get nauseous just by smelling your caffeine breath.

07.you get surprised when you see a new building in your school compound.

08.you think its possible to CREATE space.

09.youve slept more than 20 hours non-stop in a single week-end.

10.you fight with inanimate objects.

11.youve fallen asleep in the washroom.

12.your brother or sister thinks he or she is an only child.

13.youve listened to all your cds in less than 48 hours.

14.youre not seen in public.

15.you lose your house keys for a week and you dont even notice.

16.youve brushed your teeth and washed your hair in the facultys washroom.

17.youve discovered the benefits of having none or very short hair. Youve started to appreciate inheriting baldness.

18.youve used an entire role of film to photograph the sidewalk.

19.you know the exact time the vending machines are refilled.

20.you always carry your deodorant.

21.you become excellent at recycling when making models.

22.when you try to communicate, you make a continuous and monotonous whine.

23.you take notes and messages with color markers.

24.you combine breakfast, lunch, and dinner into one single meal.

25.you see holidays only as extra sleeping time.

26.youve got more photographs of buildings than actual people.

27.youre realized that French curves are not that exciting!!

28.you can live without human contact, food or daylight, but if you cant print, its chaos.

29.when you are being shown pictures of a trip, you ask what the human scale is.

30.you can use Photoshop, Illustrator and make a web page, but you dont know how to use excel.

31.you refer to great architects (dead or alive) by their first name, as if you knew them. (Frank, Corbu, Mies, Norman)

32.when someone offers you a kilometrico pen, you feel offended.

Addition (according to my personal opinion)
33. instead of shopping, u actually go to shopping malls to study construction
34. you treat MPH n kinokuniya like a library

My Final Semester

its been a year, yep i know... nothing has been as exhilarating as me flunking final semester... because of embarrassment, i didn't post it. but now, i'm not embarrassed anymore... mayb i was given a 2nd chance to prove myself. well, here i am now...

most of last year i spent working in MATA architect, an architectural firm where i did my pratical training. but during my practical training, i had only 2 months back then. now, i had 7 whole months to learn how a company operates. eventhough my salary isn't exactly what u can say u can be proud or satisfied of but i wasn't really into the money... i was more into the experience. money was just a plus side. gaining the knowledge i need about architecture and also friends of many kind along the way. i learned about office politics, marketing strategies and even once went a meeting alone with a consultant. i also learned that i have what it takes to be in a team :) before my last day, my boss offered me a job there. even when i haven't graduated. i have to admit that i can't wait to come back.

studying again felt so dreadful. mainly because i felt i was more into work - less stressful and easier work and definitely no listening to lecturers nagging, babbling and demoralise you. everything was so straight to the point at the office. everything seemed easier. not like the lecturers say in class. then i started to pick up my pace in my studies although i didn't get satisfying results so far. lecturers are giving me all the bullshits about a tougher world out there. well, guess what? they can't fool me. i've been there...

so now, i'm finishing my part I degree and i've applied to continue for the second part. i hope i get it straight away. most of the applicants were told to work first before entering the second part. as much as i love working, i thought i'd better get study over with first. i'm afraid if i start working first, i'd enjoy my salary too much that i didn't have the heart to study again. so when you have the heart, just go for it. i can't imagine myself becoming a fully transformed architect but i feel, why not aim high?

aim for the moon. if you miss, you land among the stars.

Reminiscence of Atuk

Atuk...

One of the terms used by malays to refer to their grandfathers. there are lots of other terms like Tok, Tok Wan, or Yayi ... yayi is how i refer to my grandfather on my father's side. yayi is actually a term used by the Jawas... yes, i hail from Jawa (Java)bloodline. also chinese from my mother's side eventhough i don't have the slightest chinese feature in my face. but if you see my mother, then you'd believe me.

both of my beloved grandfather passed on the same Hijrah year. My atuk on 1st muharram and my yayi on the 30th ramadhan. i cant really recall the georgian calendar date. eversince they passed, i thought mostly about my atuk rather than my yayi. not that i don't love my yayi. it's just that my atuk has the most rarest unconventional way of loving us. i admit that atuk n i never had that sort of bond that people think as unbreakable. he also never had the same kind of bond with my mother. my grandfather was a very quiet man. quiet but easily provoked. a single noise would easily raise his blood pressure up to the ceiling. a single silly mistake from us would easily get a lengthy lecture from him. a single question about the phrase '17th century' would make you sit with him explaining the meaning for 2 dreadful hours. and i'm talking about the phrase '17th century' ... luckily, i didn't ask him about 'where do babies come from?' i'd probably be wondering when he was going to finish.

my grandfather was a heavy smoker. and he does cross-stitch. yes... hmmm, i wonder what do you think of that? yes, he does cross-stitch. very huge and intricate stitching works. i think i'll paste on of his works in one of my blogs later. most of the walls in my house are covered with his stitching works. everytime we came to visit him, we would always find him (shirtless and in his 'kain pelekat') at the living/dining table, stitching and sometimes stop to blow a cigarette or stroke his cat. yup, that stern old man has a soft spot for cats. he has this one favourite cat named 'pussy'. one day, pussy died and to my biggest surprise, my atuk couldn't even stop talking about pussy for days and without crying. not to reveal my atuk's weakness wutsoever but this is a side of him that i thought i would never see.

he would spend most of the time on that living/dining table if he was still alive today. sitting very quietly, stitching and smoking. he only talks when you talk to him first. sometimes, he would quietly get up and go outside to clean the fish tank or fix his antique grandfather's clock. he dislikes people touching his stuffs. if he placed that certain item there for his own rational reason, then don't move it. according to him, it would disrupt how his system works. that showed that he was a very disciplined man or to some people, a very petty man. so most of the time, we would leave him alone with his work.

eventhough he was the type that didn't show affection- i'm not sure if he's not fond of affection or he doesn't know how to show it- but there are times that he became grandfatherly to us. the signs of affection were so rare that when he showed them, the feeling of joy and loved would never leave you. like it did to me until now. the little things he did still bring a smile to my face. like taking my siblings and i to the playground, eventhough the likeliness of it to happen is once a year... like taking me for a motorcycle ride around his neighbourhood. like giving 'duit raya' to us... even when he gave the lengthy explanation about '17th century' to me.

for the past few days, i thought of him. i'm not sure if i missed him. because he and i were never close. but the memories of his affections never left me. i remembered every single of it. i never questioned why he was the way he was but i'm glad he was that way. when he left, not a single person wasn't deeply affected. for a whole week i found my mother staring into space and cried. for a whole week, my mother said she didn't get a chance to say goodbye. at the time of my atuk's death, my mother was out buying things for him and when she came back, he was already gone. but i told my mother, perhaps my atuk loved her the most (although he never showed it) that's why he left before my mother came home. because i'm sure he didn't want to see my mother sad when he leaves. my mother had tried her best in hope that my atuk revived but somehow, it's better this way.

so, my fellow muslims, help me 'sedekah' al-fatihah to my late grandfathers and my grandmother.

The least person you hope for affection may be the person who affects you the most.

let's not be a superhero

today i attempted to be a superhero. not the kind that has super strength or x-ray visions or teleportation... not even close to the one that saves people's lives. yesterday i tried to patch this two people who are dear to me and today it turned out to be a disaster as both parties felt even more worse. so hear my advice... sometimes things are better left to patch up itself. let's just get on with our ordinary lives and not be a superhero. no matter how good your intentions are, you can never satisfy both parties. at least one of them or maybe even you could end up getting hurt...

Episode 1 : PILOT

I guess I couldn't find a better title. It's not that I have a bad day everyday that I would wish for a better tomorrow. Today can be great but there's nothing wrong with wishing if tomorrow shall be even greater. So the title is more of an optimist than a pessimist. However, i wish for a better title though.

This is not actually my first time in blogging. I've blogged in this page (I'd rather not state what the page is because who knows that it might jeopardize the reputation of the host-haha) and suddenly everytime i want to log on, it just turns to 'page cannot be displayed' crap so i resort to this. I don't usually blog everyday but sometimes when stuffs happen (important or not), if I need to get it out of my system then I need to let it out. Otherwise, I'd go haywire! I'd babble about it for 3 days running, if I'm lucky! If not, people around me would probably hate me until i finally shut up. I don't actually know if they think of me like that but hey, if i was them, i'd hate me too. haha...

So today's entry was more of an introduction of me and why i'm here. Lately, i have this urge to pick up a pencil and a sketchbook and draw. I have this thing with drawing people/living things. i don't exactly know why but God's creation fascinates me so much so i replicate them into my drawings and having to look back at them give me that sort of satisfaction that i don't have a way to describe it in words. It's so overwhelming in many ways. I appreciate this talent i have -God has given me. Perhaps the only talent i have and i'm gonna put it into good use - i hope to. Just to add spice to this article, i'm posting one of my latest drawings. Just so you know, i'm not making up any stories.

>>>-----> this is gerard butler ( from phantom of the opera, tomb raider2, timeline n now probably best known as king leonidas in 300). hmmm... i find him very good looking and i only draw good looking people. haha... that includes me ;) I have loads of sketches in my portfolio and i will post them whenever is convenient. Just for pleasure sake :)

Okay, it's 50 mins past midnight here in Malaysia. Yes... i'm from Malaysia. A beautiful multi-racial, multi-cultured, multi-language, multi-religion, all the 'multi' you can think of and peaceful country. Haha... I love everything about Malaysia, except for traffic jams which i bet every other country has. Eventhough i'm a malay, i'll b blogging in english most of the time. This is how i polish my english. Haha, kinda funny when i say polish my english because polish is actually from poland and english from england. Anyway, i'm crapping now... i better sign off now. Hope you enjoy this blog. K, peace out! Gnite!