Two Thousand and Nine

2009 marks a significant year for me... not that i asked for a less complicated year or a better year. it has just been an interesting yearbook... and i'd look back on it anytime :)

the most embarrassing moment to date
i'd simply answer it was sometime in March 2009, where i broke down during a presentation and hyperventilated in front of an audience of 20 people or so. and conveniently, it happened in the middle of an exhibition hall, so that helped to further amplify my squeaks throughout the whole space. it was just so uncontrollable and no one came to my aid, i guess they were completely awed by the display (or they were worried i might turn into Incredible Hulk soon :P). for the first few days, it was too much of an embarrassment to talk about it. but when life gives u a lemon, give life a 'twist' ;D so after a while, i just make a joke out of it... just to get some lightness into the situation :) but to be honest, that was one of the most horrifically embarrassing episodes i wouldn't want to be in again... everrrrrr!

career
being an architect had been my ambition for 13 years. so in late April 2009, i finished my 5-gruelling-years-that-took-me-6-bloody-years-instead course and acquired a degree in August 2009. having that ambition helped me focus and help me know what i want and work towards it. why had i picked this ambition? i was a lot into arts... i wouldn't say i was gifted but i had passion for it and my mom sent me for art classes and that improved my art skills. and having my dad in the construction industry does influence me a lot. i guess architecture is a combination of both science and art... hence i took a profession that has both subjects that i am really passionate about.

love life
i'm not a type of person who easily falls for someone. i don't believe love comes that easy. it's not that simple. and i don't believe that love can be dimissed by a break-up... i think it's forever embedded inside of u despite how bad it turns out in the end. Because u gotta love something that's 'real' and 'worthwhile'... and that happened to me for the first time ever in November 2009...

with the exception of first topic, i hope to continue my diary in 2010 :)

See you in 2010! feliz año nuevo!! God bless :-*****

Vows

i ridiculously took a vow - from now on, the only money i take out from my bank account is only to pay off my car n the minimal necessities to survive on monthly basis...

but if i dont religiously keep it, what consequences do i get other than not getting what i want by having the vow in the first place.

what caused this inspiration is that i miss someone terribly... even just the thought of it makes me almost want to cry. but i had to be strong... because i dont know if it's worth it... besides, i have to be in my right mind to be productive at work.

never have i expressed any sort of (rather) intimate feeling for someone... well, my next vow is that this will be my first and my last... for which, i hope n pray that all goes well and there's a better tomorrow for us... even if we had to part ways :)

Things we do but never question

Recently, the feud between Malaysia and Indonesia escalated. Initially, in the 1960's (if i'm not mistaken) Indonesia did not conform to the idea of creating a new country - Malaya (now known as Malaysia). Perhaps that started the feud.

And soon later, came the issue of Indonesian maids who were abused by Malaysian employers and the Indonesian republic is trying to instill the idea that if Malaysians are to hire Indonesian maids, we need to comply new conditions - that the maids are to paid minimum of RM800/month and given a day off every week.

Well, they got to acknowledge this. Indonesia has the highest percentage of Muslim, almost 90%! Which makes the country has the largest Muslim population. So the maids (which mostly are Muslims) that gone work overseas can choose between a Rm1700 in Korea and Rm450 in Malaysia, where they don't have to take care of dogs or cook pork (which are both most banned animals to make physical contact with in Islam).

Now even the littlest issues like the Indonesian beauty Manohara's scandalous marriage to Kelantanese prince and currently, the Discovery Channel documentary coverage on Malaysia mistakenly took a Balinese dance as one of Malaysia's cultural traits.

As a result, there are huge confrontations done by the Indonesians (particularly students as Malaysian MEDIA reported that they were PAID to do so) and even rumors that Malaysians are being chased out of the country. In addition to that, Indonesia recently suffered massive earthquake that cost hundreds of lives and millions of dollars. And Malaysia sent volunteers flew in to help. and so rumor has it that the people in Padang actually threw stones at the volunteers.

Have they forgotten one question? - WE ARE ALL FROM THE SAME DESCENDANTS - the MALAY archipelago region.

Not to forget, the MEDIA who acts as the informer, the middle person... they are capable of feeding us false stories and that could add fuel to the fire. Media does not really play a part to help resolve our disputes. (Mind you, i just don't trust the media nowadays...)

The feud between Malaysia and Indonesia has yet reminded me of another feud.

Malaysia and Singapore.

Which raised a question - IS IT INFERIORITY TOWARDS NEIGHBOURING COUNTRIES WHICH ARE FAR DEVELOPED THAN OURS CAUSED THE FEUD?

Think about it.

for we hope of a better tomorrow...

Fire Stone

Back in high school, where most of us are still immature and of raging hormones, i used to pick up a lot of petty fights with friends. the littlest things are made a huge fuss and we ended up not speaking for days.

so i had a quarrel with my friend when i was sixteen. the matter was perhaps so small and insignificant because i have no memory what caused the quarrel in the first place. but i remembered being ridiculously annoyed and so was my friend towards me. instead of trying to resolve our differences (because we REFUSE to talk to each other), we confided into a middle person.

but the middle person fed us false stories that made the quarrel even worse. the person back stabbed me to my friend and the other around. and somehow, we found out that the middle person was not being fair in arbitrating the quarrel. instead, the person actually added fuel to the fire.

my friend and i managed to resolve our dispute in the end, without the help of the middle person.

so when i first vote for the 2008 election, the politics in Malaysia has somehow became what i went through in high school.

two parties with different views on a matter and is further provoked by a middle person -

the MEDIA

let's hope for a better tomorrow...

Gift Of A Friend

A friend came upon a crossroad and she was undecided which way to turn... instead of going forward, she considered turning back and give up on her journey... even though she already walked a thousand miles and achieved so many things...

this is one of the moments where you turn to your friends and families for support. they're always there for you and will always have your back... that's a Gift of a Friend :)

all you gotta do is have faith :) and never give up...

Demi Lovato - Gift Of A Friend



Sometimes You think You'll Be Fine by Yourself
Cause a Dream is a Wish You Make all alone
Its Easy to Feel Like You Dont Need Help
But Its Harder To Walk On Your Own

You'll Change Inside
When You Realize
The World Comes To Life
and Everythings Alright
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe in
The Gift of a Friend

Someone Who knows When Your Lost and Your Scared
There through The Highs and The Lows
Someone You Can Count On, Someone Who Cares
Besides You Where Ever You Go

And When The Hope Crashes Down
Shattering To The Ground
You'll, You'll Feel All Alone
When You Dont Know Which Way To Go
And There's No Such Leading You On
You're Not Alone

The World Comes To Life
and Everythings Alright
From Beginning To End
When You Have a Friend
By Your Side
That Helps You To Find
The Beauty Of All
When You'll Open Your Heart and
Believe In
When You Believe In
You Can Believe In
The Gift of A Friend

----

Chin up... you can do it, nana! we all know you can!! *HUGGGSSSS!!*

Comparisons are easily done...

this post has got nothing to do with katy perry's thinking of you... but it did inspire the title a little bit :P

http://saifulislam.com/?p=6788#more-6788

here is an interesting article. it is written very well in Malay. the article mentioned about how the author's child compared his local-made mpv to his brother's luxurious Alphard. it is a pretty worry-some when ur very young children's minds are poisoned by materialism. wearing or using expensive brands would mean that we are somebody to be envied for...

for what exactly? everything in this world is temporary... whatever you bought or have will not mean anything in the after-life.

the article taught us on the real purpose of life and also how to appreciate what we have.

i particularly like the part when the author said that he didn't like it when his son compared him to his brother... and he also said, but then again, parents have compared their kids to other kids. i, myself, am still experiencing this... although the comparison is no longer within the academic achievement category, parents are likely to find other categories to begin comparing all over again :)

well let's hope it's a better tomorrow for me :D

Mother Nature's Rage

my sister told me that her friend had to evacuate from her high-rise apartment because they felt the building shook. and i recalled my experience just 3 hours earlier... although i was in my car, stuck in traffic... i felt the shaking although my car was at halt. it was a good rhythmic shake that made me thought maybe it's the engine... but the shaking was so distinct that it was impossible to ignore. however, my car is brand new so i don't think it has broken down or need servicing since i just serviced it last 2000km.

i looked around, embarrassed if anyone notice my car shook. but everyone was also stuck in the traffic, minding their own business. i also thought it could be the wind... but the trees aren't shaking, even the leaves are still.

so when my sister told me about her friend's experience, it kind of hit me... i asked if it happened around 6-630pm and when she said yes, it confirmed my doubt. i did felt the earth shake...

and then came the 8 o'clock news about an earthquake centred near Sumatera... thousands of miles away and what i felt was only a tiny ripple... imagine what would happen if it was the centre...

and there was the earthquake plus tsunami disaster in Samoa...

typhoon ketsana is overtaking cambodia, phillipines and vietnam.

many were killed... by mother nature's rage... because we are slowly destroying our world...

AREN'T YOU FREAKED BY MOTHER NATURE'S RAGE?

let us pray for a better tomorrow...