Back from the Brink!

back from the dead... back from hiatus... upon writing this, my final design thesis ended just 8 hours ago.

before that point, i hadn't thought that this would be my last verbal presentation at school or the last time i'd spent rm500++ for my boards... i was more concerned about convincing the lecturers and external critics about my scheme.

last semester i was probably one of the 'under average' students and had a bad presentation that led me thinking that i wasn't going to make it into second semester. but i did... with the minimum grade to pass :P

in second semester i still hit huge bumps along the road... it was not a straight road for me like it seemed with others. i had breakdowns... rather discreetly... until one point during one of the studio pin-ups, i (or my classmates/lecturers and i ) had the most memorable and embarrassing experience, which was breaking down in front of all 4 lecturers and at least 15 students. i did not let out small sobs... i actually hyper ventilated!! so embarrassing...

mind you, that was the first time i ever cried during presentation in my SIX years of studying architecture ok??? that's like 6 times at least 100 presentations a year! u do the math!

although embarrassing, i'm glad that it happened. it was like back from the brink. i learned a lot from that crit and it was a turning point. not just in terms of design... but in terms of confidence, self-esteem and passion. i think from that point onwards, i knew how to make my design thesis more interesting, convincing and believable. it was an agonizing 5 weeks for me... when people did their thesis in 35 weeks, i was doing in 5 weeks. it was up to a point where i isolated myself from my close friends. i specifically said, i'm quarantining myself or i'm in a confinement period so that they won't be asking me for usual hang outs a lot. i think that helped in focusing in my work better :) i worked hard to get here... but not without the help of my teachers :,)


size: 5.046m x 1.782m

the scheme could be better. i think my perspectives helped to sell my ideas. i hate the location of my presentation. the place was actually a walkway to get to other panels so when it was my turn, i sort of caused a jam that led to accumulate audience. which was good by the way. the down side is that - there wasn't enough distance for the lecturers to see my boards as a whole and also my models on the sides. they didn't even admire my model :((( which took me a week to do...

at one point of the presentation, one of my teachers was trying to get through but couldn't without interrupting the presentation and what he did was, while walking low, he said, "don't you just love it?" hahaha... and one of the architects thought i hired him to say that :P

no matter the outcome... or grade... i think i've learned a lot and improved a lot for the past year. besides growing a couple of zits, i gained new friends alongside bonding better with the friends i already have.

that's what matters most.

errr, no... not really... :P i want to graduate too... :P
3 friggin days



3 friggin different days than above

presentation board: rm 540
model: rm70+ and counting
back from the brink: priceless...

on hiatus~

the title says it all... until april anyways :)

as if i have avid readers...

til april... good morning, good evening n good night!

Outraged

it has been a while... i know. i'd say i don't have the time but that would be bullshit . i'd say my internet n phone line was down but that only happens most of the time.

so i'd say some of the time when my internet was up, i didn't have the time... nor the inspiration to write.

i'd say i'm glad to be here because i live in a peaceful country despite the recession, political disputes that kept on rising until it bore us out of our wits! but i'd also say that i'm not...

as we all laughed and celebrated the passing of 2008 on the New Year's eve, our brothers in Islam were screaming... mourning... over, not the passing of 2008, but over the passing of their loved ones. this... so-called... war over terrorists is just a cliche that has been used over and over again by the countries with greater power. i may not see eye to eye with certain people but if innocent civilians and children are categorized as terrorists and deserved to be murdered without mercy during the course of this war, i'd be more than happy to shut up.

but anyway, define terrorist? a man's hero may be another man's terrorist.

so from what most of the world is seeing is that there is some sort of a hidden propaganda.

i don't want to just say that i'm outraged and i want to do something about it than just sign petitions and send my prayers... to our brothers in Islam...

-amin-

Preach on a Monday

it's amazing how a mind works. i was watching a movie - sweet november - since it is november and i heart keanu reeves and charlize theron combo so much. so it was just a romantic... sweet... kinda boring harmless movie... and turned out, i was slowly having an epiphany.

what caused this?

globalization.

really... i've always known and worried what globalization could do to our culture and values. globalization spreads knowledge and provides exposure but yet, it could also destroy a knowledge and people are easily influenced when they are weak.

it is the modern era.

the needs of people also evolve. culture evolves. i don't deny it. but it must not be destroyed. The eastern culture has absorbed western culture so much that i don't need a whole continent as a case study. just studying people around me is enough to convince how much our culture is deteriorating. and so does the values that our religion has taught us.

yes, you see people dress like westerners everyday, u can hardly tell them apart now with people dying their hair blonds and contact lenses turning our eyes colourful. we are more fluent using their language than our own. but that shouldn't alter who we are inside.

we are malays. by definition, a malay has to be a muslim. but u see Malays everywhere but practicing Muslims very rare. aside from the issue of globalization, the global warming is perhaps a factor that Muslims are wearing lesser cloth. let me repeat - the needs of people change - and touching the opposite sex when they are not your brother or sister is highly normal now, how would our next generation behave then?

is this the kind of values we want to teach our children? do we want to create a generation who never speaks of their mother tongue or practice what is required by Islam?

what is you answer?

life is short. the afterlife is everlasting... and it awaits us.


you decide.

.

Do it for Yourself

there's a huge boundary between being good at something and loving doing it.

when you find yourself being good at something and not loving it - it feels like everything is forced, even though u keep being good at it. it feels like a job... an obligation but not fulfilling.

a few years back, i saw the sitcom - Two guys, a girl and a pizza place - this guy is a good architect but he hates doing it... he loves to be a commentator but lousy at it.
so i thought, not that i'm good at psychoanalyzing wutsoever but i thought he can still do the job he hates forever... but never make the thing that you love to do as your job even though you're not lousy at it.
because loving what you do is about doing it for yourself and when it is a job, you would be doing it for someone else or for some other thing that isn't permanent. and it forces you to fulfill other people's expectations and not yours.

no matter how sucky you are at what you do or how good you are at something u felt sucky doing, do it for yourself... it would turn out to be rather fulfilling than you can imagine.

Take a Chance

i know exactly which people are going to make fun of me after they read this blog. but it's about time i stop feeling bothered by what other people think of me and take a chance...

i should be paying attention to my dissertation or thesis but this frustration is so overwhelming that i need to get it out of my system or else i can't function well.
maybe it's the shouting more than singing in the redbox... maybe it's the coffee we had after that... maybe it's the air... maybe it's someone i met today...

after redbox... i knew i would be drawing attention. i'm not saying as if i'm flattering myself but i was carrying a bottle of sparking grape juice, which very much looked like a bottle of champagne. and for someone like me to be carrying something like that around, it was a pretty odd combination and very provocative sight.

even one indian aunty from McDonald's was very skeptical with the sight of me carrying the champagne look-alike. she kept eyeing me and immediately, to my defense, i said, "This is sparkling juice... not alcohol..."
somehow the indian aunty just couldn't get it into her head. she kept asking me if it was appropriate for someone like me to be drinking... won't i get drunk?? i was done convincing... i ignored her.

we sat outside McD, alfresco style. Just so happen a group of three guys next to us was skeptical as well. one of them asked and i responded to my defense. apparently, one of us (other than myself) thought he was nice to look at. i wouldn't want to go into the details as i'd like the memory all to myself ;) all began with that bottle of champagne look-alike.

it was so unfortunate that i have SHY as my initials. it somehow defines me as well. he asked for my name and number. it was so unfortunate that i care so much about integrity, my friends' feelings and their perceptions towards me... i actually ignored. so all the way back home, i kept thinking what should have happened if i, for once, ignore my fear and took a chance...

maybe not to the extend of handing out my number. i guess he has to work a little harder than that :)

ECO film fest!

Eco film fest will be held at the Akademi Seni Kebangsaan on the 1st NOV and 2nd NOV 2008. And UM will be participating. There'll be an exhibition and my project, which won the MNS-Optima EcoCenter design competition are to be exhibited.

apart from that, there are films that'll show such as Who Killed the Electric car?, Kilowatt Ours, A Crude Awakening... and other films that perhaps might give us a slap in the face about our ignorance towards the environment. Ignorance is no defense!

there are also performance by Kokokaina, One Buck short and the fest will be covered by XFresh and Hitz.fm. So this fest is not to be missed!

for more info, log on to www.ecoknights.com